Sudden Baby Naming Issue: Unexpectedly Fast Adoption Leads to Unexpectedly Urgent Naming Situation

Hi Swistle!
You and your readers helped us name our little girl, Sylvie Clara, 2.5 years ago (baby boy or girl Campton with an O). Now we have a CRAZY new naming dilemma. We are adopting baby number two, and TODAY, after only being approved for FOUR DAYS, we got the call that we have another daughter!! She was born 6 weeks ago and has been in temporary foster care due to some issues but we are picking her up Friday (!!). Her birthparents chose not to name her, and her foster mom has been calling her Lucia. We are supposed to decide by Friday what we want to name her so the paperwork can be filled out accordingly. I know technically it’s not set in stone because we can legally change it when we finalize the adoption but I’d love to have her name on the paperwork. I am a name nerd that poured over Sylvie’s name my entire pregnancy, and now we have to decide in two days what to name our baby girl. Pertinent info: although not on our original list, we do like the name Lucia, but it is way more popular than what we generally prefer. Sylvie’s middle name is my grandmas name, so we will use an honor name from my husbands side as a middle this time: Pearl or Jane. We hadn’t gotten really involved in name talk this time, but our shortlist contains:
Pearl (as a first)
Lydia
Eloise
Louisa (definite frontrunner)
Arden
Esme
Flora
Marnie
Eliza
Simone
Mae
Fiona
Stella
Heidi
Felicity

So I guess my question is, if we like Lucia, and it’s awfully close in sounds to our frontrunner Louisa, do we go with it, or start a fast and furious search for the THE name? Could it be that easy? Another tidbit: baby girl’s birth parents are both from Mexico, so is Lucia a better fit? My brain is completely overwhelmed at this point so I’d love any input from you and the readers.
Thanks!
Terra

 

 

Name update:

Hi Swistle,
Thanks for posting our question, everyone was so supportive, insightful, and helpful. There was a big Lucia/Luisa debate for that 24 hours, but we finally decided her name had been cemented in our hearts the minute we learned of her, and it was confirmed when we saw her. We welcomed Lucia Pearl to our family Friday, and we are so in love. I wish I could share a picture of her–she is the most beautiful little thing, and her name fits perfectly thanks to all the support from you guys.
Terra

62 thoughts on “Sudden Baby Naming Issue: Unexpectedly Fast Adoption Leads to Unexpectedly Urgent Naming Situation

  1. Shannon

    Congratulations–how exciting!!!

    So, the question is whether or not to use the name Lucia? And would you otherwise be calling her Louisa (your current frontrunner), or is there a reason you’d have to start a fresh search? It sounds like you’re looking at Lucia-or-Louisa, and since you like them both, this sounds win-win!

    If I were you, I think I would use the name Luisa! Benefits:
    1. Americans will pronounce it just like Louisa
    2. It’s your frontrunner name
    3. It’s Spanish in origin and could reasonably be the name Mexican parents would have chosen for their baby

    To me, that third consideration is pretty important. If I were adopting internationally, I would want to give the child a name that shows that you celebrate her biological heritage (especially if she will look different from her older sister). I always feel a swell of emotion/appreciation when I learn that adoptive parents have shown the time and care to do this.

    Using Lucia would also be great for this. It’s a great name and will accomplish the same tie to her roots. But I would be a little hesitant to use the name already given to her by someone other than her birth parents. As lovely as her foster mom may be, the six weeks she spent in foster care may not always feel like the happiest part of the story of how she joined your family. A name that’s phonetically similar, but a fresh start, and with Spanish-language roots, feels happier to me.

    Use Luisa!! :)

    Reply
    1. Ginny

      I was going to suggest this same thing, for all the same reasons! Although I don’t have personal experience with it, the writings I’ve read by transracial adoptees would strongly incline me to giving a name that honors their ethnicity.

      My take on the Lucia/foster parent issue was a little different… if you do decide to use Lucia I think it is a lovely way to honor the woman who’s nurtured her for these first few weeks. The foster parents I know have so much love for the little ones they take care of, even for a brief time, and I think it would be very sweet to let this foster mom have helped name the baby, even though her part in her life ends here.

      Reply
    2. Kay

      What a wonderful thought! I love it. Luisa Jane sounds classic and lovely and manages to honor this little girl’s family of origin as well as her new family.

      Reply
      1. Amelia

        I love the idea of Luisa! I love Louisa too, but I’m always afraid people will pronounce it as “loo-ee-za” instead of “loo-ee-sa,” which I prefer. I think Luisa is more likely to get the “s” sound!

        Reply
    3. Terra--OP

      Thanks so much for your thoughtful input! Honestly, this is all so full of emotion. I think I felt like we would need to start the search over because this shortlist is over a year old, and was intended for a possible biological child before we decided to pursue adoption. We honestly had not had a chance to think about names that would span cultures yet, so we are definitely not dead set on Louisa. The other issue is that when I got the initial call saying that the birthmother was considering us, she was introduced to us as Lucia…so at that point in my mind and my heart she was baby Lucia. It makes it feel almost weird to consider changing her name. I really appreciate your advice, and naming her with something that is culturally appropriate is important to us, and I would pass that advice along to any adoptive parent. :)

      Reply
  2. Shannon

    Oh, to clarify–I think #3 still applies whether the parents are actually IN Mexico, or are Mexican-born but live in the U.S.

    Reply
  3. megan

    I do like Lucia but I think as a 6 week old you can definitely change to Louisa without any issues. I don’t see Lucia as more popular than Louisa, at least where I live, but I think it’s harder to pronounce (LOO Che Ah, Lou See Ah, etc). So I say go Louisa and don’t worry about it!

    Reply
  4. Alyssa

    Congratulations!!! My first thought when reading your letter was how much Sylvie and Lucia sound like sister names. So going at this from a style standpoint I think Lucia is perfect. Also, I’ve never met a Lucia so it doesn’t cross my radar of “too popular” at all. Both Lucia Pearl and Lucia Jane sound good as well. That being said, maybe you want to pick this baby’s name to celebrate her being your daughter? In which case Louisa and Eloise both stand out to me thanks to their similarity to Lucia. I wouldn’t do a double take at hearing any of the names on your list on a hispanic child though, and I don’t think you can make a wrong choice. Even with your amazing list I want to suggest Lucille as it seams to fit your style, goes with Sylvie very well, and is similar to Lucia. Enjoy getting to know your new daughter!

    Reply
    1. Britni

      I also thought Sylvie and Lucia sounded like sister names!
      I like the idea of making it “Lusia” to make it your own (besides, it’s never *legally* been written yet so it’s not even like your changing anything).
      How amazing ~ congratulations!

      Reply
  5. Dr. Awkward

    Came here to say exactly what the first commenter said — Luisa, with its nod to the baby’s heritage, seems like a perfect choice for you! If this were an older child who could recognize the name Lucia, that would complicate matters…but with a six-week-old, I think there’s no problem choosing a name you genuinely love.

    Reply
  6. April

    Congratulations!!

    I personally think you can’t go wrong with either Lucia or Louisa. They’re both beautiful, they work well with Sylvie and sound great with her Hispanic roots.

    Having said that if neither of those feel quite RIGHT then absolutely spend the next two days poring over names to see what stands out, but I don’t think you can go wrong either way!

    Also, I love both names with Pearl!

    Reply
  7. Erin

    I think I would keep Lucia and use one of your front runner middle names. Lucia Pearl and Lucia Jane are both beautiful names. I also like a previous commenter’s suggestion of Luisa Pearl or Luisa Jane. Lovely!

    Reply
  8. Kat

    I agree with the other posters here. Honoring her heritage with her name will be a gift she will cherish forever. I would pick a name that goes well with Sylvia, but also does not clash with her Mexican lineage. It is also a traumatic time for her with all of the major transitions going on, so perhaps choosing to keep Lucia, or a similar sounding name would also be in her best interest. I second Luisa and Lucille, but would also like to throw Luciana into the mix. Congratualtions and best of luck!

    Reply
  9. Kay

    Lucia is a beautiful, classic, stylish name and it would be so meaningful and moving if you kept it as her legal name.

    My first thought– what about keeping Lucia and using Lucie as a nickname? Lucie (or Lucy) and Sylvie are *such perfect sister names*.

    I also think Lucia sounds wonderful with either honor middle name. You can’t go wrong!

    Reply
    1. Megan

      I still prefer spelling of Luisa or think Louisa is fine if you really prefer it, but I love the idea of the Lucy/Lucie and Sylvie nickname combo!!!

      Reply
    2. Sarah

      I also wanted to suggest using Lucia (I like Lucia Jane as a combination) and using Lucie as a nickname.

      Reply
  10. BSharp

    Why don’t you meet her, and see what she looks like, and see how her personality feels? I think Louisa and Lucia are both lovely options that work really well with Sylvie.

    Of your other names, I wouldn’t use Heidi or Fiona — they’re a little too stereotypically white for me to be comfortable if I were in your new daughter’s shoes. I don’t think you’re limited to Mexican names, though it would be wonderful if her first or middle did refer to her heritage. So Pearl Louisa/Luisa would be a nice example.

    I also like Flora. Flora Pearl or Flora Jane sounds absolutely lovely, and Flora and Sylvie work beautifully together. Flora can be said easily in Spanish, if she ever wants to learn to speak it.

    Looking at the rest of your list, I’m very fond of these with Sylvie: Lydia, Eliza, Stella

    Reply
    1. Shannon

      Definitely agree on Fiona–I would not be comfortable using a name that means “fair, white” on a nonwhite child. I would probably try to avoid all names in this category. This is purely anecdotal for me (black female raised near a major urban center, went to college and grad school near two different urban centers), but I would also scratch Heidi and Eliza for that reason–they seem to be worn only by white people in my area.

      Something like Esme or Stella, on the other hand, shows up in all sorts of communities and isn’t so easy to pinpoint.

      Reply
      1. Terra--OP

        I appreciate both of these perspectives. This list was not made with a child of a different background in mind (we hadn’t had time for that yet!)…it was made before we had made the decision to pursue adoption. I do think that is an important aspect of naming, and that’s why this decision feels so rushed…keep Lucia or scrap the list and start searching for a name we love that honors her heritage. We are a bilingual family and our wonderful nanny speaks only Spanish, so having a name that sounds good in English and Spanish is also a big factor.

        Reply
        1. Christi

          I have a slightly different take. Beware that you don’t go so ethnic to honor her heritage that the name doesn’t fit with your family. As the white adoptive parent of a bi-racial child I can already tell you that at times she will feel like the outsider no matter what you do simply because she doesn’t look like you. Our girls name is Shayleigh which is generally shortened to Shay because her birth name could be shortened to Shay (it was very very ethnic and we just couldn’t see keeping it because it really didn’t fit with the names for the rest of the family) There are so many many things you can do to help a child feel included and luckily in America we already celebrate many Mexican holidays and that information is readily available. I know Hispanic children with what would seem to be Hispanic names and a ton with regular old names. I would relax and meet the baby and see what name you feel fits her. And it is totally possible to love a name (because you love the child it came attached to) even if you never liked it before.

          Reply
  11. Sargjo

    Ok fellow obsessive! I would…go in to meeting her with both Lucia and Luisa as previous posters suggested and see what she “is.” But for middles! Both Pearl and Jane are so sweet. I like the meanings of names and both Lucia and Pearl have obvious lovely ones. Which means I would either do Lucia Pearl for double meaning or spread out the meaning love: Lucia Jane or Luisa Pearl.

    Then again, for cute nickname purposes, I think Jane is more fun to combine, as in Lulu Jane. Love it!

    My two cents-congratulations!!!

    Reply
  12. Elizabeth

    I really like the idea of you keeping the name Lucia. It goes perfectly with Sylvie, either of your potential middle names sound great with it (esp. Pearl!), and it’s a nice connection to her heritage. Personally, I also like the connection to her foster mother, who I imagine gave her very loving care in her first few weeks of life.

    Congratulations on your new daughter! As someone who is beginning to consider adoption, I love reading happy stories about it.

    Reply
    1. Charlotte

      Yes I think it’s perfect too – it’s classic, keeps her Mexican heritage but also combines so beautifully with her sister. Good luck and congratulations on your new daughter xx

      Reply
  13. Jms

    I was going to suggest the same as the first two posters. Luisa!! I knows little Luisa that is so sweet. Her mom is American, father South American. It’s perfect! Luisa Jane or Luisa Pearl.

    Reply
  14. Kelsey D

    Ahhh… Another on the “I love Luisa” boat!! I love that it ties together both your love of Louisa, the original name chosen for her, and also her Mexican heritage. It’s perfect in my mind. For what it’s worth, I think the name still flows nicely with your other daughter’s name.

    I also love Pearl. Love it. So I would personally use either Luisa Pearl or else Pearl Luisa.

    Congrats and good luck!!

    Reply
  15. Reagan

    I prefer Luisa to Lucia but Both are lovely and you can’t go wrong. Obviously the foster mother had to name the baby something but I wouldn’t feel compelled to give your baby the name the foster mother chose. But of the fun of bringing a child into your life is choosing the name – I don’t think I would be so unselfish as to hang onto that right.

    However, it may be nice to honor the woman who took care of your daughter for six weeks. For that reason, I like the idea of Pearl Lucia or Jane Lucia.

    Reply
  16. TheFirstA

    Lucia is lovely, very similar to Louisa & fits well with Sylvie. It has good nickname potential in Lu or Lucy (if that matters to you). It would also honor her Mexican heritage, which I think is important. If it were me, I think I would likely keep it.

    However, it does not have to be all or nothing. My personal 2nd choice would be to swap things around a bit. Use the family name for the first and keep Lucia as the middle. It will honor her heritage and be a respectful nod to her origin story. Peal Lucia is lovely.

    A 3rd option would be to compromise between your front runner Lucia & use Luisa. They look & sounds very similar, so Luisa is a nice nod to her current name. It would also honor her heritage in a similar way. Though honestly, the names are so similar that I do wonder if it’s worth it to really change anything.

    Reply
  17. StephLove

    I like Luisa for the reasons so many others have outlined.

    I also like Pearl, Lydia, Esme, and Felicity, but especially Felicity as the Spanish word for happiness is felicidad. How perfect is that?

    Reply
  18. Kanah

    I like Arden, but I think it sounds too match with your last name. From your list, I like Stella best and think it will be cute for the girls to have matching initials!

    Personally, id be more inclined to keep Lucia if the name came from her birth mom. ( It could’ve just been the foster mom’s favorite name of that week for all we know. ) If it does, however, hold special meaning to you, im sure it will to the baby when she gets older, too.

    Reply
  19. Julie

    I prefer Lucia to Luisa, and if Louisa is the one you really love, I’d go with Lucia to honor her heritage. If you decide Lucia isn’t the name, and since she is going to be your daughter, I think you should choose the name you love because she will want to feel special, I like Stella or Esme to honor her heritage. How lucky she is to have a loving and permanent home!

    Reply
  20. Dulcie

    Everyone has good suggestions so I won’t add to the name discussion, but I just want to say how happy I am for you and your family and send my best wishes your way! I hope you will send an update once you are all settled.

    Reply
  21. Lonna

    Congratulations! We are in the process of adopting too although our situation is different, I am the foster parent adopting our foster son. Just food for thought, but we are going to change our sons name to one we pick. His name was suggested by his birth moms exboyfriend (not bio dad). We have other kids (bio) who we tell about how we came to their name. I want our newest guy to have a story of how we came to his name too. One that we picked just for him (it will be bio moms maiden name). Not a story about how some random guy liked Star Trek and that’s how he was named. Now your situation is different I realize, I just wanted to point out that it might be important to her in the future who picked her name.

    Reply
  22. Joanna

    I love Lucia for her. I like that it connects her to her origin (heritage and personal history). I love that its meaning is related to her sister’s name (Lucia-light, Clara-bright). It’s q great style match with Sylvie. I may be biased because I like the name, but it seems quite right in this situation!

    Reply
  23. Ashley

    I don’t think you can go wrong. My daughter is named Louisa. Her Spanish-speaking nanny uses the Spanish pronunciation with an s in the middle and we and most other English speakers use the loo-eez-a pronounciation, although about 1/4 of English speakers pronounce it with an s. I like both and don’t mind that people use both. But just know that with the Louisa spelling you are likely to get both. I agree that Luisa would be ideal to honor her heritage, and I think maybe you would get the z sound less if you went that route.

    Also, to comment on popularity, where I’m located (east coast US) neither name is very popular, but Lucia seems to be less popular than Louisa.

    Congratulations! I think either Lucia or Luisa would be great.

    Reply
    1. Lindsey

      My daughter’s name is also Louisa and I agree with this! We’re also on the east coast and I will say that one year there were two Lucias in her small preschool (not in the same class), but that could totally be a random fluke. I don’t think either name is terribly popular where we live.

      Reply
  24. Mandy

    My mom’s name is Lucia, only the family has always pronounced it Loo-sha, like the island of St. Lucia. She is complimented all the time on how pretty it is. She does not go by a nickname, but her mother and siblings frequently called her Lu or Lulu for short, which is sweet on a little girl. This alternate pronunciation that might be a way to keep your daughter’s original name but put a little bit of a spin on it that makes it new for your family (and less like the popular version of the name). Sylvie and Lucia (Loo-sha) sound cute together. This pronunciation of Lucia also flows nicely with Jane or Pearl.

    Reply
  25. Jocelyn

    I love your naming style and as a fellow “name nerd” I would struggle with having a baby named “for me”. But Lucia Pearl is a beautiful name.

    I also agree with previous commenters that Fiona, Heidi, etc would look a little odd on a non-Caucasian child.

    Other thoughts if you are looking for options:
    Adeline
    Camila
    Constance
    Delia
    Elena
    Elise
    Evelyn
    Florence
    Frances
    Meredith
    Ramona
    Tessa

    Reply
  26. Charlotte

    Another vote for Luisa!! It seems like the perfect compromise (and it’s great that she can know YOU picked her name just like you picked her sister’s name – while still honoring her heritage and the woman who has been fostering her since Luisa is so similar to Lucia). Lucia is nice, but the different pronunciations would hold me back from ever using it. Loo-sha, loo-chee-a, or loo-see-a? It makes things a little more difficult. (Worth it if you adore the name, of course, but if there’s another name that hits all the right notes, like Luisa, I’d opt for that.) I also like Sylvie and Luisa better than Sylvie and Lucia. Luisa Jane and Luisa Pearl are both great.

    Congratulations!

    Reply
    1. Beep

      I completely agree with this–came here to write the exact same thing. Except that I’d add that if you do choose Lucia, I would also go with the Spanish pronunciation.

      Reply
  27. Jd

    Congrats! I’d suggest using Lucia on tomorrow’s paperwork and give yourself some time to pick the perfect name which you will bestow at adoption. You have lovely choices, none of which you can go wrong with. But with the placement being rushed I’d give yourself the luxury of a little time to pick your name.

    Reply
  28. Layne

    I think Lucia (pronounced loo-see-a) is the best choice for you! Like Luisa, Lucia is similar to your frontrunner and is a nod to the baby’s Hispanic heritage. In addition, Lucia is a better fit with your surname – Lucia Campton (with a O) – and likely within your family too!

    Reply
  29. JMV

    Congratulations! This is the best adoption story I have ever heard!
    I’m in the Louisa camp. You choose her and her name. Also the the possible pronunciations of Lucia turns me off. I would not want that hassle for me, so I wouldn’t want to burden my kid.
    Scanned the comments and didn’t see anyone mention the beautiful symbolism of Pearl. I love that it is a family name, but the clincher for me is the symbolism. A pearl, a highly treasured thing of great beauty and value, resulting from an imperfect (for the oyster) beginning, a small grain of sand.

    Reply
    1. Beep

      Not on your list, but this is one of my favorite names ever. It has such a nice meaning in Spanish too.

      Reply
  30. Emily

    How incredibly exciting. What a blessing. I got a little thrill of excitement thinking about receiving that call. :)

    I just have to put in my vote for Luisa, too. It’s marvelous!! Sounds wonderful with Sylvia. Also, I LOVE Louisa and dislike Lou-ee-za, and never really realized how much more likely the “s” sound comes about with Luisa. I wonder why that is?’ Regardless, it’s beautiful, it’s culturally appropriate, and it comes with a host of adorable nicknames. Lucy and Lulu are so sweet.

    Congratulations!!!!!

    Reply
  31. Evie

    Congrats!!!! Ahhhh wonderful news!!!!
    I love both Lucia and Luisa! Either one will get you to the adorable nickname Lulu :)

    For a middle I like Pearl…a precious surprise. Pearl also reminds me of the The Pearl by Steinbeck which takes place in Mexico.

    Reply
  32. Christine

    Congratulations!! What wonderful news! I would use Lydia, Eliza, or Luisa. I understand that she may feel like “baby Lucia” right now, and the idea of honoring the foster mother is lovely too – but (and I say this keeping in mind that (1) she is a bitty baby and (2) the name was selected by a short-term foster placement, not by the biological mother – both of which would likely change my analysis in other adoptive situations) I think both of those things are outweighed by the feeling of inclusion and family love that baby girl will get by having a name that her parents selected especially for her (just like her sister’s name was) and even better, a name her parents have loved for a very long time! (I also think Lucia has pronunciation issues, and as an adopted child, sometimes it’s nicer not to “stand out” in another way with a name that’s constantly mispronounced. Also, foster parents are amaaaaazing people, but the foster mother probably never thought the name would be a long-term one.). All that being said though – Lucia is beautiful and would go wonderfully with your middle name choices, so it remains a great option too. Good luck, and congrats to your family!

    Reply
  33. anonymous

    Have you thought about extending Esme to Esmeralda? That gives your daughter options to pursue the somewhat white-feeling-to-me Esme as well as a more Latina-feeling long form.

    Reply
  34. Lisa Flewellen

    I would stay with a name you picked out when you and your husband were thinking about adding to your family, I feel it is important that she can hear later on about all the names mom and dad considered before choosing ” blank “. My kids ( grown with kids ) all know the names we were considering and liked telling the stories to each other. My grandkids have all looked at the list of names that mom and dad were trying to decide between and they love hearing about the search. She is a special gift that was waiting for her forever family who has been waiting for her and knows her name, just like bio babies. Blessing to you and your family! My favorites from your list are Louisa ( I love this spelling, it seems to flow with Sylvie ) Eliza ( this name is sweet and spunky just like Sylvie, love the z and v from each name ) and Lydia ( old fashioned enough to be a great fit with Sylvie )

    Reply
    1. Christi

      Naming stories don’t always have to be about the first name. We talk about the kids middle names (they each have two honor names besides their first name). And you will have other stories with this child that you don’t have with your bio child. The day you got the call, the day you saw her for the first time, the day you took her home (if it’s not the same day), the day the judge said you could keep her forever. I know with a bio child you have the birth story and when you found out you were pregnant, but there just seems to be more of those type of things with an adopted child. If it seems right and you are already thinking of her as Lucia then keep it or pick any name you love. The name will probably not be the issue you have the most questions about as she grows.

      Reply
  35. Melissa

    For some reason the name Eliza stuck out to me. Eliza and Sylvie sound so cute together. What about Eliza Pearl?

    I had a sudden adoption situation happen to me in February, although he was 13 months at the time and already named. Congratulations on your new addition!

    Reply
  36. Melissa

    Congratulations!

    I like the idea of Luisa, too. It sounds great with Jane or Pearl. My mother-in-law was named Lucia (she was Italian), and she pronounced it Loo-sha. Luisa wouldn’t have any other pronunciation (that I can think of anyway).

    My favorite name from the list, though, is Eliza. It’s always been one of my favorites!!

    Good luck!

    Reply
  37. Caro

    Felicity jumped out at me right away. I think it’s so appropriate for the circumstances under which she arrived, and it reminds me of Feliz Cumpleanos.

    Reply
  38. kate

    Thank you for the update! Lucia Pearl is lovely, and if you’re a nicknamey family you could call her Luz sometimes, which is short for Lucia and also Spanish for “light” :)

    Reply

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