Hello! I have been following your blog for a few years, and so I’m sort of excited to now find myself in a baby naming rut.
I just found out (yesterday!) that our first baby will be a boy! He is due to arrive at the end of January. My husband and I had a boy name and a girl name picked out. I absolutely loved our girl name: Lucy Elizabeth, and I still hope to use the name if we have a girl in the future. Our boy name we had picked was Jesse Matthew (Matthew after my husband).
The problem is now that we know we’re having a boy, I’m not thrilled with the name Jesse. Maybe I am just sort of disappointed I have to table Lucy for awhile, but my husband feels equally lackluster. We still like the name, but we don’t love it. I know, I know–you don’t need to love the name. But we still want to explore other options. Plus, I have a hard time picturing a baby Jesse. I picture Uncle Jesse from Full House or some other long-haired musician/ motorcycle rider/ hipster. Maybe this is just because I don’t know any child named Jesse?
I tend to like old fashioned names that are not super common. I teach, so I want to avoid names that I hear all the time (and have many student associations for). I have never taught a Lucy or a Jesse. My husband, however, likes more traditional and common names and finds my names weird/ odd, but he can’t give me any concrete names that he does like.
Boy names that I like that he’s rejected are:
Abraham (Abe)
Anderson
Simon
Theodore (Theo)
Gabriel (Gabe)Other girl names I like as a pairing with Lucy if we end up with two girls in the future (we plan on having 3 children) are:
Theresa (Reese)
Penelope (Nell)
Violet
Beverly (Bee)
AnnabelI do like names that are 2+ syllables since our last name (Gray) is only one syllable, and the middle name will definitely be Matthew, after my husband.
Any other boy options you could suggest would be greatly appreciated. Are there Lucy/Theresa style boy names that are “normal” enough for my husband and unique enough for me?!
Thanks so much,
Jamie
Lucy and Theresa/Reese seem quite different in style to me. Lucy is a vintage revival with a British feel to it (Penelope, Violet, and Annabel fall into this category as well). Theresa peaked in the 1950s-60s, belonging more to the Linda/Cynthia/Sharon era. Reese is a modern unisex nickname; Lucy is also a nickname name, but the styles of Lucy and Reese are as different as the styles of Lucy and Theresa.
There’s no reason those two names can’t be used for sisters: many parents choose names of different styles for their children. But the reason I mention it is that it makes it difficult to find boy names in the Lucy/Theresa style: I could find you names that are like Lucy, and I could find you names that are like Theresa, but far fewer names are compatible with both styles. This may be why you’re finding yourselves stuck, as well.
The bulk of the names on your girl-name list and on your boy-name list are of the Lucy style, so I think I would start by looking for more boy names of that sort:
Charles/Charlie
Edmund (perhaps too Narnia with Lucy)
Edward/Ted/Ned
Elias/Eli
Elliot
Emmett
Everett
Felix
George
Henry
Hugo
Jasper
Julian
Leo
Louis
Milo
Oliver
Oscar
Owen
Philip (Pip)
Sebastian
Wesley
William
If your husband prefers more “normal” names, I’d lean toward the William/Owen end of the list—but then of course we’re probably getting into your classroom lists. This may be an area where one of you will have to give way: either he will have to understand about encountering the name in the classroom, or you will have to understand that the names you never hear in class are by definition going to be too unusual for him.
It’s possible, too, that your husband needs a refresher course in naming styles. This issue seems especially common with men: they think of the names of their peers as “normal names,” without realizing those are now the Dad Names and there is a new normal. If this is one of his issues, it can help to mention the names of HIS parents’ generation and ask him to imagine if his peers had had those names as children. Or it can help to have him browse some class lists or the Social Security name list, just to see what names are most common now.
It also sounds as if it’s time for him to make a list of his own. If he’s insisting on a “normal” name but can’t come up with any he likes, a trip through a baby name book may help in one direction or another: either he’ll realize the sort of name he’s looking for is not actually his style, or he’ll find some names to suggest and you can work from there. (This will also show you if he is thinking of his own peers’ names as the normal ones.) I think too that a parent who has been doing nothing but vetoing can become more reasonable to work with after he/she sees how much effort it takes to come up with possibilities and how it feels to have them vetoed.
I wonder if you would like the name John. In some areas of the country it’s quite common, but where I live it’s a surprising choice on a child—like Mary for a girl, where the name seems so familiar you’d think there’d be one in every classroom, but actually there are two Noahs, two Aidens, two Williams, two Connors, a Kyle and a Kylie and a Kaylie, and no one named either John or Mary in the whole grade. John Gray is a very handsome name, I think, and wonderful with Lucy. It may hit that sweet spot of familiar enough for your husband, but scarce enough in the classroom for you.
I’m all for super classic names and think they really are more underused than we think. I’ve posted before that my brother and I, Anne and John, had only one or two peers in all of our growing up years with the same name. My son William has only met one other William/Will/whatever between school/church/extracurricular.
In this case I would counsel against John though because John Grey is a character from a book (the Outlander series). It would be worth googling “Lucy Grey” and “Lucy Gray” just in case because the sound is the same even if the spelling is not.
That said I am super jealous of this easy to work with last name compare to mine! I really like Owen and Henry with Lucy, too. I think Everett is underused too and Rhett is such a great NN for it.
Hmm, if you google “John Grey” a whole host of things come up. I’m not denying that John Grey is a character in a particular book, but I don’t think it’s at the Harry Potter level of recognition where everyone would immediately notice.
I’m not saying I WOULDN’T name him John Gray because of that, just that it’s something I would want to know before I made that choice.
I agree with Anne and her reference to John Grey in Outlander.
The books are incredibly popular around the world.
If you aren’t familiar with the books, the first season of a TV show based on the books began in August. I think the TV show will draw in new fans as well as followers of the books.
Definitely worth thinking of. : )
Good call on John Grey! Although it didn’t even immediately come to my mind, and I am an Outlander fan. I don’t think it is unusable because of this.
Hm.. I’ve never been crazy about Jesse for a boy. Not my style I guess?
I really like the idea of Henry.. fits well with Lucy, gives the long-e sound at the end like Jesse.
Jeffrey is another J-ends in e name that I don’t hear often anymore.
I’m not sure if you’re only concerned about not having a name of a student you’ve taught, or if you don’t want a name that’s common overall, so I’ll point out that Lucy is pretty common #66 in the US and has been getting more popular each year.
I really couldn’t get behind Theresa nn. Reese.. especially with so many people actually using the name Reese now. It wouldn’t make sense to me to use it as a nickname.
Good luck!
Gray is such a wonderful surname to work with– you have an abundance of options! I like Swistle’s suggestion of John Gray. So distinguished. I would probably suggest using a very distinctive middle name if you went that route– maybe a family surname or a rare first name. But since you are certain about Matthew, maybe that wouldn’t fly.
For what it’s worth, Jesse has always seemed very boyish to me. I rather like the name (and I’m usually not fond of biblical style names, so that’s something).
BUT– I don’t think Jesse quite goes with Lucy, or Theresa, or really any of your potential girl names. Does sibling name matching matter? As Swistle says, no, not necessarily. But if coordination in style is important to you, and you also are feeling lukewarm about Jesse, it’s good to look for other options while simultaneously trying to pinpoint your wants and needs in a name.
The one boy name that jumped out at me to suggest is Silas. It’s in the top 100 now but not the top 50. It reminds me of Simon, which your husband rejected, but has more of an Early American Colonial feel. Silas Gray is so incredibly good as a name I find it hard to suggest anything else.
But, I will anyway :)
Others:
Jasper
Henry
Edward (pretty uncommon! Teddy is a cute nickname)
Peter (hardly anyone is using Peter anymore, but it is so classy)
Arthur (also uncommon, nickname Art or Artie)
Julian
Malcolm
Thomas
Christopher, but with the nickname Kit or Kip
George
On another note– I think Tess is a little easier (and also cuter) as a Theresa nickname, and I think Theresa nicknamed Tess is a perfect style match for Lucy. Just my two cents!
Please try to remember to update us, too… Good luck!
Silas Grey is wonderful!
Just agreeing with the Theresa nn Tess. I love this with Lucy!
Whoops, I made an error, but a good one– Silas is still outside the SSA top 100! It’s at 116.
On the surprisingly uncommon classics side, these are all below 150th and all timeless English names that won’t startle your husband.
Mark. Mark Matthew Grey.
Paul. Paul Matthew Grey.
Peter. Peter Matthew Grey. (I especially like this with Lucy.)
Nicholas. Nicholas Matthew Grey.
Derek. Derek Matthew Grey.
Stephen. Stephen Matthew Grey.
August. August Matthew Grey
Malcolm. Malcolm Matthew Grey.
Arthur. Arthur Matthew Grey.
Of those, I think Peter is my favorite for you.
Are you looking at the US SSA list? Nicholas was 54th in 2013 with 7,078 boys getting that name.
Good catch. I thought that seemed improbable, it was a variant spelling down in the 200s.
I still think Nicholas is a good choice for OP though, and Nick/Nicky might preserve the feeling they liked about Jesse while giving him a name to grow into.
Ah, makes sense. I thought of Nicholas for them, too, but then remembered that there were so very many of them in the 1980s/1990s (I know upwards of 20 men by that name from my generation). I thought it might be in the Jesse boat of seeming older in its vibe/feeling. It is a really nice name though! Would be one of my favorites if not for the sheer volume of them.
I agree your husband is probably thinking of “normal” names as those being from his generation. I wonder if that is part of your hesitation about Jesse? It’s hard for you to imagine on a kid, because everyone you know (or know of) with the name is older.
From your girl list, I would say both Theresa & Beverly are less vintage and from the boomer generation. They can still work with the other vintage names on your list, but they aren’t quite ready for a comeback the way names like Lucy & Annabel are. Reese feels totally contemporary, particularly for a girl. I would expect Tess/Tessa as a nickname for Theresa based on the other names on your list.
Is your husband on board with Reese? If so, I wonder if you might like Rhys for a boy. It is a traditional name, it just hasn’t ever been very common in the U.S.
Simon, Theodore & Gabriel seem like they might be close to something your husband likes. They are all familiar/traditional. My guess is he sees them as either too “soft” or possibly too old. They certainly don’t have that hip/little bit of a rebel feel you seem to get from Jesse. I’ll suggest Joel, Nathan (or Nathaniel), Tobias/Tobby, Wyatt, Lucas & Jared.
I think you are really onto something with the “soft” factor of Simon, Theodore, and Gabriel, and that as maybe the root of the husband’s discomfort with them. Maybe the original letter writer can find a TV show/movie with a tough guy character who has one of the names her husband has rejected as “weird”. It’s all about context!
First of all, I love that Beverly with the nickname Bee is on your girls list. I hope you get a chance to use it.
Second of all, it looks to me like the intersection between Lucy and the rest of your girls list, and some of your boys list, is Charlie Brown. Not that you have the names of specific characters, but none of them would surprise me in a Peanuts cartoon. (Violet Gray is actually the name of a minor character, apparently!) You probably don’t want to actually name your kids Lucy & Charlie or Lucy & Linus because that’s a very strong association, but it might be a place to start looking…or at popular name lists from the 1940s more generally. I did some quick poking around, and I think I would suggest Russell. Or maybe something like Robert that is both classic and slightly out of style?
I also really like Jesse though. Its one of my if-only-we-hadn’t-named-the-dog-that names.
Unfortunately the names I feel inclined to suggest clash with his other names or are too similar sounding with Lucy in case you have a girl in the future with that name. I actually like Jesse, it has a nice soft sound but is masculine simultaneously. Speaking of Jesse, I once knew a young man names Jesse and yes he was a musician with shaggy hair but he was one of the nicest guys I ever met! As I am writing this, more names are coming to mind: Jonas, Jonah, and Rufus. Good luck!
Just a thought that you might also be more enthusiastic about girls’ names over boys’ in general. This happened to me. I could hear a girl’s name and swoon, but most boys names got only to the ‘that’s nice’ level.
I definitely fall into this camp – my “girls names” list is 3x as long as my “boys names” list and I feel so much stronger about the girls names. Most boys names give me an “eh, it’s ok” at most.
I like Jesse as the original choice, and also 2nd the suggestions of Oliver, Russell, Henry, Emmett and Everett.
When I look at the majority of names on your list, Jesse definitely seems like an outlier. I see Jesse more as a cowboy-style name whereas Lucy has an old-Hollywood/vintage-flare style of name.
I love Lucy so much. It is definitely on my short-list for girl names.
I personally really like Anderson. I love the nn Anders. Anderson reminds me of names like: Wilson, Samson (same feel as Jesse), Benson, Davis, Harrison, Everett (love the nn Rhett), Cohen, Giles.
A lot of your names, girl and boy, are the same that we have on our short lists. Will share them with with.
Simon was our go to name before we choose the name Oliver for our little guy. I wasn’t 100% certain of his name when we first discussed it but now I love his name.
Similar to Oliver is Arlo. LOVE ARLO.
Arlo Gray. I actually think the simplicity makes for a distinguished name. What about Oscar? Oswald nn Oz. Arthur?
Other names:
Jack
Charles nn Charlie –> love this with Lucy
Walter nn Walt. So cute.
Winston
Henry –> love this with Lucy.
Lucas.
Fitzpatrick the nn Fitz is sooo great
Franklin nn Frankie
Jude or Judah.
Wells or Weldon
I also really like Silas or Elias. I like the suggestions of Edmund or Edward.
Good luck and keep us posted!!
What about Archibald? Archie is cute.
I also thought of Joel and Malcolm for you. Since you are a Jaime, what about an honor name for you. James Matthew Gray would be a beautiful name. I also like Swistle’s suggestions of Emmett and Wesley.
I also love the idea of using Tess as a nickname for Theresa and think it goes beautifully with Lucy.
Good luck!
Jesse reminds me of Harlan. Harlan might be a good choice. It’s rare, but it’s not made up or really out there. Harlan Matthew Gray. Harlan and Lucy have a certain hipster vibe when used together.
Not into hipster?
Carl could be a fine option. It’s below the 500 line, extremely traditional, and is straight-forward. Carl Matthew Gray. Carl and Lucy. Both have four letters and share a letter, too.
Don’t like the one syllable?
Aldo is four letters, two syllables, uncommon (but still at 534), clearly masculine, and has an affability to it. Aldo and Lucy. Aldo Matthew Gray.
Want more traditional than that?
Walter. Walter Matthew Gray. Walter and Lucy. Walter hits that sweet spot of being familiar without people knowing more than one or two. It’s two syllables, classic, gives him his own initial, and sounds RAD. Walter Gray.
Best wishes to you as you welcome your charming son. Please let us know what you and your husband decide!
Oh. I also love Aldo!! Glad you seconded my Walter. I love it.
I think it might be possible to use a boy name to bridge the style gap between Lucy & Theresa (assuming these two girls are ever born) because boy names move up and down in popularity more slowly than girl names. So something like David, James, Stephen, or William might have been popular during Lucy’s peak AND Theresa’s. Those are hypothetical examples. I didn’t check to see if they were, but it’s worth checking out where the overlap is, if you’re interested in a stylistic match.
You certainly have a great last name to work with! I would like to second an earlier poster’s comment about the difficulty in loving boy’s names. I searched and searched for the perfect name for my son and ended up naming him something that I liked, but didn’t love. Thirteen years later and I STILL haven’t found the elusive perfect boy’s name. Glad we didn’t hold off on naming him until we found one!
I really like the idea of John Gray or Silas Gray. So handsome! Silas and Lucy — lovely play on sounds there. Very classy.
Is Martin ready for a comeback? Martin Matthew is lovely. Lucy, Martin, & Theresa.
I love this — probably my #1 boy name at the moment and works well in this (potential) sibling group. Is your husband a Back to the Future fan? :)
I would not name a boy Peter if you want a daughter named Lucy unless you are very into The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.
What about Julian? Or someone mentioned Jared? Or Gordon? Or Jordan? Or Robert? I haven’t seen many kids with those names. ( except my own cousin named Julian)
FWIW, Jesse is hands-down my boy name, if I ever have a boy. His middle name would be the same as my brother, uncle, and grandfather. I LOVE the name Jesse for a boy– I think it really fits whatever kind of person the kid turns out to be! My perception may be based on knowing two Jesses in my life– my grandfather (other side of my family) and a girl friend from college. Doesn’t get more versatile than that!
Would you like Shane, Colton, Elijah, or Jonathan? I think they would all sound great with your surname.
I really like the suggestion of John. I’m trying to think of names that are classic and not so common in the classroom for you and also not completely unheard of for your husband. How about
Brennan Gray… Brennan and Lucy
Nolan Gray…Nolan and Lucy
Jonah Gray… Jonah and Lucy
Elias Gray nn Eli…Eli and Lucy
Colin Gray…Colin and Lucy
Jack Gray… Jack and Lucy
Ezra Gray…Ezra and Lucy
Milo Gray…Milo and Lucy
Jasper Gray…Jasper and Lucy
Patrick Gray…Patrick and Lucy
Morgan Gray…Morgan and Lucy
Heath Gray…Heath and Lucy
Thomas Gray…Thomas and Lucy
Everett Gray nn Rhett…Rhett and Lucy
Emmett Gray…Emmett and Lucy
Ian Gray…Ian and Lucy
Isaac Gray…Isaac and Lucy
Grant, Graham, Grady and Gavin are great names too but clash with last name Gray :(
Also Ezekiel or Zachary Gray nn Zeke. Zeke and Lucy
I like ..
Arlo Matthew Gray
Marcus Matthew Grey
Miles Matthew Grey
Gordon Matthew Grey
Theo Matthew Grey
Eli Matthew Grey
Wyatt Matthew Grey
Claude Matthew Gray
Wilfred Matthew Gray
Edward Matthew Gray
Vernon Matthew Gray
Harvey Matthew Gray
Dennis Matthew Gray
I actually really love Jesse! But it does sound like maybe you need some alternative ideas. I think of Jesse and Lucy as gentle-sounding names. Here are a few boy names that are familiar but not commonly used that might fit:
Alton
Wilbur
Nelson
David
Matthias
Cyrus
Spencer (maybe too common?)
Miles nn Milo
Otis
Samuel
I also LOVE the name Malcolm that others have suggested! I think Malcolm Grey sounds lovely.
Matthias would be a nice way of honoring his father without being common. Or, if you have Italian/Latin heritage, maybe Matteo?
Joseph!! (Unless you have too many in your classroom.) Joseph Matthew Gray — “normal” guy name for your husband with an old-fashioned sound for you. Also, Joseph could have a sister Lucy and/or Theresa and fit right in. :)
Joseph is a great suggestion! Love Joseph nn Joe!
Lucy is such a pretty name and, although I do like Theresa, I much prefer Tessa as a sister name. Lucy and Tessa.
I can fully understand your hesitation with Jesse. It doesn’t sound quite complete, more like a nickname, and I can only see it on a little boy for some reason.
Samuel, Joshua, William, Isaac, Christopher (this sounds particularly great with Gray), Adam and James all sound great, not only with Lucy and Tessa, but your last name as well.
Good luck!
Oooh, I had to respond to this one! My 8 month old son is….Jesse Mathis! So obviously I like your original choice! I think the name is really versatile – the “ee” ending works well (for me) for a little baby (similarly to how I feel about Brody and Wesley), and I can picture the name on a cowboy, a musician, a bookworm….
That being said, I do really like the suggestion of Silas! Silas Gray. Absolutely dashing.