B. writes:
Almost 3 years ago we announced we were naming our baby boy Catcher and were immediately swamped with people telling us the name was a homophobic slur and that we absolutely could not name our baby Catcher. I was heartbroken to say the least and ended up changing the name. Some thing I’ve always regretted.
Now I’m pregnant again and I just met a baby named Catcher. My mouth dropped open when I heard it and now I find myself considering the name again. I love the name so much! I really want to use it but am really wavering back and forth as to what we should do.
I honestly had never heard the slur before. Do you think the name is unusable? Could we have a poll to see how many people had heard it used as a homophobic slur?
That’s interesting; I’d never heard that word used that way. I looked it up and did find that definition listed online. It seems to be more slang than slur: I didn’t find any mention of homophobic connotations. For comparison, I looked up a couple of terms I know to have issues, and they are listed as such: the word “fag,” for example, is listed with the notes “vulgar,” “offensive,” and “disparaging.” The word “dick” is listed with the notes “vulgar,” “slang, and “pejorative.” The word “catcher” (and the coordinated term “pitcher”) is listed only with “colloquial”: a casual term used in spoken language.
Because the baseball term is so familiar, and because I had to actively search for the other meaning, it seems like this would be a small issue. On the other hand, you have many people in your circle who are familiar with the term and feel it is an absolute deal-breaker. In that sort of situation, where the name had an intense meaning to my own friends and family, I think I would avoid the name even if it weren’t a problem in the culture at large. Do you like Fletcher or Thatcher or Hatcher?
But this still leaves us wondering how well-known this term is: Do adults know it? Do children know it? When people are discussing baseball games and the catcher and pitcher are referred to, is there snickering? I asked Paul if he knew the slang term catcher, and he didn’t. I was going to ask my two teenagers, but realized I didn’t want to have the resulting conversation right at that moment. So instead let’s have a poll:
I am familiar with the slang term, but did when I first read the title of this post I did not think of it at all. I think Catcher could be a totally cute name. I suppose it might be a bit awkward for him if he ends up being gay, though…
My first thought was Catcher in the Rye, and then I thought of baseball. I am familiar with the gay connotation, though I wouldn’t call it homophobic. It would certainly become a joke at least when he and his friends hear the term in that way the first time. There are more sexual-type jokes to make along the lines of “Catcher? I hardly know her”, which I suppose could also be said for a name like Archer, or Fletcher, which might be a better alternative. I also think about how I pronounce catcher “ketcher” and wonder if some people say it with a harder “A”, which means not everyone would pronounce it the way you would like. I am all for names like this and want to like Catcher, but when I weigh all of the associations, it doesn’t work for me.
I would also like to say that the baseball meaning came first, and I should think nobody thinks about the gay association during baseball, but maybe it depends on your crowd.
The term isn’t offensive, but it is graphic and explicit. For that reason, I’d be embarrassed for someone with this as a name.
I completely agree with you. Please do not name your baby this. Any name that involves an “action” of some kind really can be subjected to cruelty throughout the years, and while I can understand how annoying it would be to see someone else use the exact same name, I really feel strongly that using Catcher as a name just is inappropriate.
I’m 25 and completely agree! So many … ‘Oh so you’re the Catcher”… wink wink jokes will be made. The graphic, sexual term is the first thing I saw when I spotted the title of this post.
Add me to the list of people who think this name is inappropriate. It isn’t a homophobic slur, but it is graphically sexual and very well-known, at least in the gay community. It would be akin to naming your baby Fister. You might think of boxing and clenched hands first, but the other definition makes it emphatically not a name.
Yes, this! I wouldn’t use it.
This. A thousand percent this. I’m sorry, but I would not recommend Catcher as a name.
I think this is definitely a term men are likely to know, especially if it came up a lot with your friends. It’s not really a negative term within the gay community (“pitcher” and “catcher” have definite implications, but one isn’t better than the other). But “catcher” probably is considered negative term for homophobes, even more so than “pitcher.” How terrible that other people’s homophobia might prevent you from choosing a name you love! So sorry.
To give you a teenage perspective (although older than Swistle’s children by a few years), I’m 19. I did know the connotation, but it definitely wasn’t the first thing that came to mind. That was Catcher in the Rye, then baseball. If the original poster hadn’t mentioned the gay slang element, I don’t think it would have come to mind, and I hang out with a lot of gay people.
Same with me, but I don’t think it will escape the notice of a child’s peers when he reaches the teenage years so no matter how much you love the name… probably better to pick something that has no graphic sexual slang meaning.
I’m gay and the “other” meaning definitely comes to mind when I hear this name. I don’t think it’s going to be the first thing at the front of most people’s minds when they hear about a baby named catcher (most would think baseball first) but it feels like someone using a term from a marginalized culture they aren’t part of either unaware or without thinking it through.
Completely agree.
Agreed
My first thought went to Catcher and the Rye, although it is my favorite book. Then I immediately went to baseball. I had no idea there was a sexual reference with the term/word catcher. I wouldn’t let that association some may have deter you. I mean, people name their child Richard (nn Dick) and I know many Richards who go by the Dick.
I think the difference with Richard nn Dick is that most (if not all) of the Richard/Dicks were named that before the other meaning of dick came into common use. I’d be very surprised to find a Richard called Dick who was born after say the 1960s or so.
Absolutely! I know a family of Richards and the father went by Dick (he’s probably 60?) and the son (30) was Rich as soon as he could very vocally insist that people stop calling him Dickie (around grade 3).
My husband is a Richard, aged 58, who grew up being called Dickie, and then Dick. He pretty much hates his name now, but it’s been too difficult to change after so many years. Made more difficult my the huge style difference between Richard & Dick. The working compromise is to use Richard whenever possible–Starbucks situations, all reservations. His mother claimed not to know the slang meaning…….
I think this is a situation where the association rules out the name. It’s not worth saddling a kid/adult with the potential baggage.
How about Archer, Harper, Fletcher, Thatcher….
If I were in this situation and my cousin (who is really more like my brother and is gay) were to bring this to my attention, I would absolutely never use the name. Even if he said it was not insulting to him, having a family member with a very strong association with the usage of the word would be a deal breaker for me.
It sort of reminds me about the discussion we had here regarding the name Cohen, where some people thought it was not a big deal and another group said, no it really is a big deal. Simply because someone else (knowingly or unknowingly) used the name doesn’t change what you know about the name.
I am 26 years old, and I live in a city with a large gay community. I knew what the term meant, but it was not my first association when I started reading the post. If I met a kid named Catcher, I would think “baseball” before “gay sex.” Interesting that your friends describe it as a homophobic slur…it is definitely sexually descriptive, but I’ve never heard it used in a derogatory way. I don’t think its offensive, but it may be inappropriate as a baby name, especially if most of your social circle has a strong association with the sexual meaning.
I like Swistle’s suggestion of Fletcher….I would also suggest Archer, Sailor, Forester, and Sawyer as alternatives you might like!
I do know the connotation, but like others it wasn’t my first thought.
I wonder if we could have a poll added to the current message (or maybe just a poll in the comments) as to whether the name is usable even if you do know the slang term. On this I think it is just usable. I am sure I wouldn’t use it for myself, mostly because it isn’t my style, but I do think if you are “heartbroken” that you changed your mind last time on this issue, and have met another child with the name, certainly you could use it.
Even with this I would probably give a less controversial middle name, so that should a child find themselves uncomfortable with his name, he could choose to go by something else.
I did not know what the slang term meant and that is how I voted. I then asked my husband and he immediately knew. Maybe this is just one of those things guys tend to know? I don’t know but it is so vulgar. I would definitely not use this as a name. Whether he is gay or not it would be horrible to be teased about. I love the above suggestion of Fletcher. If you like c names here are some: Carter, Crosby, Colby.
I didn’t know either, but my husband did and he feels it is unusable because of the connotation. It probably wouldn’t come up until he was a teenager, but those are pretty tough years for any kid.
I’m in the same boat. I voted no because I honestly wasn’t aware of the slang term when I read this. SInce then I’ve asked my husband who was very much aware of the implication. Having read everyone’s response, I’m really not sure I could use this name no matter how oblivious I was when I learned about it. And we’re a pretty tame group here (I think anyway). If a large percentage of a small pool of baby-name enthusiasts knows about the term then I imagine an even larger percentage of “everyone” does.
Don’t do it! The association is there and it will come up.
My first association was baseball, then Catcher in the Rye, and I didn’t think it sounded like a good name even based on that–but as soon as the slang usage was mentioned, it was the only thing I could think of–I couldn’t go back to thinking of it as a baseball name at all.
When I asked my husband what he thought of the name he said, “Like Catcher in the Rye?” and then muttered the slang usage under his breath.
I would definitely not use this name.
Even if the association WERE only baseball I would still advise you not to use it. For lack of a better description, it sounds “nickname-y” to me along the lines of “Sport” or “Buddy.”
The other usage, which I’ll admit I wasn’t familiar with before this post, is vulgar. That should rule out the name right away – it’s something you can’t “un-know.” It might have been fine if you had named your firstborn that without a clue, but now, can you really imagine bestowing that name on your new baby boy?
The good news is there are so many other names with that same sound, which other posters have already mentioned!
I voted no because I didn’t know the term, but sexual slang has a way of becoming more and more known once it’s a term and not less. We might be 50/50 on the poll, but what about in 15-20 years? My guess is it will only get more familiar as a term and not less. I would avoid it.
I agree.
This is my feeling too. I did know the term, and in fact it’s the first thing I think of when I hear “catcher.” I’m a polite person and wouldn’t snicker or make comments to someone’s face, but it does spring to mind. As many have commented, it’s not homophobic, but it is graphic and not a name I’d want to go through my teen years bearing. It’s hard to know how slang will evolve: maybe in 10 years it will be less well-known than it is today, but I’d bet on it going the opposite direction, with gay culture and terminology becoming more mainstream.
My first thought was “Catcher in the Rye”. Then baseball. I wasn’t familiar with the sexual term, but that would be a dealbreaker for me. I clicked on the link above, expecting it to go to urban dictionary – but the fact that wikipedia’s dictionary lists that definition makes me think that it must be pretty well known. I know I wouldn’t want to look up my own name one day and discover that there’s a colloquial sexual definition to it. (Presuming he didn’t find that out through being teased.)
I’d keep the name in the middle spot if you really want to use it.
It would not pass the “would I want this name for myself” test for me with that connotation. I did have to think about it for a long, long time though, because I love the name Molly, but my husband and I keep hesitating to use it with the burgeoning drug culture and references. I keep going back to Molly being an established name though. Anyone have thoughts on that? With Catcher, I would always wonder what people were thinking when we shared his name.
Molly makes me think of the adorable livebearing fish first. It has been an established name for so long that I don’t think the current usage of “molly” as drug slang can outweigh that. Also I have a sense (based on absolutely nothing but gut intuition) that drug slang sticks around in the culture for a much shorter period of time than sex slang.
Agreed, I think Molly will be out of popular usage relatively quickly (certainly by the time a child born today gets to be school-age) as the next drug fad moves in. Also, Molly is a *very* established name both on its own and even further back as a nickname for Mary.
I definitely think Molly is struggling more as a “dog name” than a “drug name” right now. I love the name but it’s starting to feel like naming a baby Spot or Rover because I know so many Molly dogs.
Such an interesting name ending to consider!
We have the obviously useable: Archer, Beecher, Fletcher, Thatcher, and Hatcher.
We have the questionably useable: Bencher, Bleacher, Catcher, Coacher, Etcher, Launcher, Marcher, Matcher, Patcher, Pitcher, Preacher, Quencher, Rancher, Reacher, Teacher, Searcher, Voucher, Watcher, Wincher.
And the longest list of all–the definitely not useable: Belcher, Butcher, Clencher, Clincher, Cruncher, Ditcher, Fetcher, Flincher, Hatcher, Leacher, Lyncher, Lurcher, Moocher, Muncher, Notcher, Pincher, Poacher, Puncher, Scorcher, Scratcher, Screecher, Sketcher, Sloucher, Snatcher, Snitcher, Stitcher, Switcher, Toucher,
What exactly about Hatcher makes it definitely not useable? This is a family name of mine. I probably wouldn’t use it for a child…but it does go along with this thread as it obviously has some sort of meaning I’m not aware of. Thanks!
I notice she also has Hatcher in the “obviously useable” category, so I assume the second mention of it is a typo.
Yes, typo.
What about Beecher is obviously useable? It feels very awkward to me.
I don’t really think any of the names on the “questionably useable” are useable either. Imagine a kid named Teacher, or worse, Voucher?!
Maybe I’m just not a fan of this still…though I do like Asher and Carter.
I didn’t know the association, but once knowing it, you can’t un-know it. And man, I would NOT want to be the kid saddled with a name that gets a wink and nod from a rather sizeable community. I vote for one of the alternatives listed above. Sorry!
I do know the slang term, although like many others it didn’t immediately occur to me upon hearing the name. That said, it IS definitely a known – and fairly well known – slang term, at least in my region / among my peers, even if it’s not the FIRST association with the name. I would not want to subject a son to all of the resulting jokes..
I didn’t ‘know’ the term or I guess wasn’t familar with it. But the minute you posted the question I knew exactly what it meant. I wouldn’t name my kid that. Maybe it could be a family nickname only kind of thing.
I can’t say that I’ve ever heard of that either… it gives the same feel as Archer or Asher or ____ (you get the idea). I guess there are a couple things to consider:
1). you stated you regretted not using it last time, would you regret it having a second chance to use it and you still didn’t?
2). Kids can make fun of something and/or anything. If kids want to poke fun at something, whether his name was Catcher or Sam or William or what-have-you, they will find something to make fun of. Since it is not an obvious slur, if I loved the name then I would use it!
3). If you choose to use it, then perhaps I would keep the name a secret until the baby is born. That way you won’t have outsiders affecting how you feel about your babe’s name. Once it’s named, then they just have to accept it for what it is.
4). I think that in today’s society (I suppose it would depend a bit on where you live) but homosexuality is a thing of the norm and reactions to those who are part of the LGBT community are a lot less significant then they were 30 years ago… so even if a kid discovered this slang terminology it will be less of a big deal (in my opinion anyways).
I didn’t know the slang term…but, my first thought (perhaps rather randomly) was Catcher Block, Ewan McGregor’s playboy character in Down with Love (co-starring Renee Zellweger, the movie is at least 10 years old). Though that’s neither the best nor worst of possible associations, I wouldn’t want Catcher on my birth certificate.
I’m familiar with the slang but not in a way where I’m ever using it. I could not guess what the issue would be at the start of the post. Then I read the problem and thought, ‘Oh yeah, I guess there’s that.”
I’m not sure I would use it if people in my circle were going to associate it that way, but I’m certain if I met a baby Catcher that wouldn’t be what came to mind.
Why not pick another name and use Catcher as a nickname? Or Catcher as the middle name so you can use it interchangeably with his first name?
I think this would be a great time to use the St@rbucks method to see how folks would react. Have a man order a coffee with the name “Catcher” and see how baristas react. They’re often young and up on their trends.
My guess (am I’m 37) is that it would be a negative experience for the coffee-ordering man.
It’s not a slur, but it is 100% unusable. It is not the first thing that comes to my mind, but it is so close that it’s a virtual tie for first. I think the example of would you name you kid “Fister” is a good one.
As far as the Richard/Dick comparison goes, I’d like to add that I know several women who are 60+ named Gay or Gaye and I would never advise them to change their name but in my opinion it is unusable now.
My opinion is also that bc Catcher has never been a name, it isn’t really the same as comparing it to a name that has been used my many thousands of people before turning into a slang word.
I was familiar with the slang definition, although I don’t use it on a regular basis. But I think Catcher as a name is not a good idea, just because it is so explicit. Once someone knows that definition, they will be thinking of it every time they see your child, which is not a good thing. Fister is a good comparison, or BJ as a nickname.
Dick and Gaye are a little different, because the names were common before the slang usage, but I see both of those names dying out asap. Oooh, wonder what the SSA stats are? Off to check them out….
Another vote here for avoiding “Catcher” as a given name.
Look, you have the connotation with gay sex, and then the baseball position connotation too. It’s one of those names that I think would be awkward if it evolved as a childhood nickname, but then your son could always go back to a given name. I think if you’re set on an occupation style of name with a “ch” in the middle, Fletcher and Archer are nice choices.
I’d avoid it, even though I’ve personally never heard the term. (Maybe it’s a regional thing?) It’s a cool-sounding name and I see why you like it, but I wouldn’t want to be named something that people might be offended by–even if it’s relatively only a few people.
You’ve already got plenty of no votes here and don’t need another, but I couldn’t resist chiming in that in my part of the country, this isn’t a “slur,” per se, but would most definitely conjure up the sex association for most young to youngish people. Definitely a very different situation from Molly (after all, Mary Jane is theoretically still usable, right?). Ironically, I think it’s probably more dangerous to use the name in a place where the term isn’t commonly used but is considered a slur than it would be in an area where the term gets more frequent, playful use.
I’m intrigued about what’s drawn you back to Catcher twice now–is it the sound? (If so, I second the suggestions above–Archer, Fletcher, Ketchum, and no reason Hatcher wouldn’t work at least as well!) The literary significance? (What about Holden or Salinger?) The fact that it’s an uncommon occupational name? (Chancellor? Cooper? Chandler?)
Good luck! Honestly, if you love it that much…well, lots of people have survived even more colorful names!
Oh–and if you use it, I think you’ll have to prepare yourself for his choosing to go by something else anyway, because he will CERTAINLY hear about its slang meaning before he hits double digits!
I’m familiar with the term but it’s far from the first thing I would think of if I heard it as a name. As a name, even the baseball association would diminish quickly, because it does have a nice sound and one that is similar to other names (Thatcher, Hatch, etc). I wouldn’t let it stop you.
Even with the slang meaning, as Swistle notes, it’s (in my experience) used playfully, in a ribbing sort of way, not as a slur. *shrugs*
I did not know that Catcher had a reference to homosexuals but without that even being said, Catcher is not a cute nor attractive name for a baby. As others have mentioned, Thatcher is a much better option. I don’t think your son will like his name if you chose this for him. Please reconsider a different name.
I have never heard of the name Catcher as a sexual term, but when I googled it the first four lines of search results were mentioning it in this way! Unfortunately I dont think its a usable name.
I can understand why you would love this name, can I suggest Chase or Fletcher which I think have a similiar feel!
I just thought of something! What if you used Ketcher?
Disclaimer: ordinarily I’m deeply against unnecessarily creative name spellings. But in this case, you wouldn’t be doing the same harm, since his name apparently wouldn’t be a reference to the word catcher anyway. If what you like is the sound, and not the associations with baseball or hunting, Ketcher takes absolutely nothing away from that.
If I met a boy named Ketcher, I would assume he had been given a family surname.
Overall, I still really don’t think you should use this, but Ketcher might solve the name’s biggest issue (at least on paper).
That spelling makes me think ketchup. Granted, I’m a fan of most condiments so it’s not a detriment, but it just seems like that work around will always lead back to “my parents didn’t want to name me ‘Catcher’ so here we are”.
Well, frankly, I agree–but I feel like a kid named Catcher OR Ketcher would be answering questions about the origins of his name, so…just thought I’d suggest it! I wouldn’t use either of them, ersonally.
I’m familiar with the term as well, but I don’t think it detracts from the name. I actually love the name and think that you should use it if you love it. It’s far from the first thing that comes to mind and plenty of people are not aware of it at all.
I get so tired of how judgmental adults are about the names other people give their children. I think people give far too much credence to childhood teasing. It says to me, “People are intolerant, so you should just sacrifice yourself to everyone else’s tastes to save yourself the trouble of dealing with it.” What an awful world that is to live in. People don’t escape teasing just because they’re named John or Mary. Just look at all of the negative slang terms that come with the name Jack, but people seem to think that’s just fine. How many Jacks get teased with the hypersexual slang term Jackoff?!? And so what? How many times do you have to hear the joke before it becomes just one of those things that you roll your eyes about and move on?
We need to teach our children to be accepting of others whose names/accents/colors/looks/abilities are different than their own, rather than trying to avoid those to stay “normal” and under the radar of teasers. It’s unrealistic to think that just because you name your child Thatcher or Archer, other children won’t find something to tease him about. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. Maybe it will be name related, maybe it will be about his looks, maybe it will be about something else, maybe he won’t be teased at all.
A child named Catcher can normalize the name for other children, who probably won’t think it’s a big deal, and certainly not until they’re a certain age anyway. Young children tend to be more accepting of what their parents perceive as “different” names, mostly because they don’t have the life experience to recognize that there is something different. Teenage boys have plenty to rib other teenage boys about, regardless of their given names. The slang may be something they know about, or maybe not. Maybe something else will come up between now and then. Maybe the name Fletcher will develop some sexual slang meaning and then what? Too late! Or maybe he’d be called “Fletcher the Retcher” or “Fletcher the Catcher,” and then what?
When you give your child an unusual name, you are the one that will teach him to love it for himself because you get to teach him that it’s special and you chose it because he’s special. What a boring world we’d live in if no one was brave enough to venture out into unusual name territory. We wouldn’t have many of the “normal” names we accept as names now. There is always going to be someone that doesn’t like your choice. The thing is, it’s your kid and not theirs. They can name their kid whatever they want, whether you like it or not. Shoudn’t you be free to do the same?
I like that someone referenced the movie character Catcher Block. This name wasn’t given to the character as a joke with the sexual connotation you reference. The character is very successful and well-liked (albeit a chauvinist), and he wears the name well.
For me, the heartbreak you feel over not choosing Catcher the first time around says that it’s the right choice for you. YOU choose what is right for YOUR family, not for society or other people’s children. Follow YOUR heart, not everyone else’s opinions. You’re the one that will be able to guide your son and teach him to love his wonderful name.
And if he really doesn’t like it? Give him a middle he can switch to if he so desires. This goes for any name you choose; a child named Thomas might decide he doesn’t like being Thomas and want to choose something else, and that’s more about the child than the name.
I find this perspective so refreshing, and I want so badly to believe it, but I’m on the fence. We just named our daughter (she is 8 weeks old) a name that we knew had a potential negative association, thinking it wouldn’t be a big deal since neither of us had noticed it (the Internet pointed it out to us before she was born). Honestly, it’s been a big deal. I truly think that 95% of people hear her name and either don’t notice the association at all or notice it but quickly dismiss it. We’ve gotten really nice comments on it. But the one or two people who have noticed and said something have left us feeling like it’s this elephant in the room, and we are constantly wondering when we introduce her whether the person’s mind has “gone there” or not. It really has stolen some joy of the whole fall-in-love-with-the-new-baby-while-basking-in-the-perfection-of-her-name thing, and I’m not sure I could in good conscience advise another parent to walk the same road.
On the other hand, I want to suggest to the original poster that if you do decide to follow your heart (and part of me *really* wants you to, because I am so tired of this culture we live in of “Oh, you can’t say *that*! It means *this*!”), be ready (and teach your son to be ready) with an explanation or a reason for his name. I think if people’s minds begin to drift in the wrong direction when they hear his name, a quick follow-up of “His father and I are huge Catcher in the Rye fans” or similar might go a long way toward bringing them back toward the light.
In fact, I just remembered that I know of a little boy called Catcher, and it had the best story ever behind it! It was a big family of all girls and one boy, and the little boy was undergoing cancer treatment. The parents let him name his baby brother as a reward for being super brave and he named him Catcher, because he loved baseball and that was his position. Adorable, right? (By the way, I’m pretty sure the big brother is okay now, but it’s a friend of a friend, so I’m not 100% on any of the details).
So, like I said, I’m on the fence. What I really want is for everyone to just get their minds out of the gutter so people can name their babies whatever they want, but alas, this is the world we live in.
I respect what you are saying, I really do. People are not saying that this kid FOR SURE WOULD be teased with one name and FOR SURE WON’T with another. We are all just offering perspective – which is why the mother wrote in.
I’ve heard the argument that kids tease kids all the time about everything but I think certain names are low-hanging fruit, so to speak.
whoops, that was supposed to be a reply to AJ.
I’m also just giving my perspective, that’s all.
I’ve heard the term but didn’t realize it was derogatory, exactly.
I have a friend who named her son Catch; perhaps that would work for you without making you think of this issue every time you say it.
Yes I have heard of this term and enough people will know it to the point that he will get teased in school. Pretty common terminology ! Don’t do it, maybe if you really like it use it as the middle name but that is absolutely it