Hard Day

This was a hard day. 1) Before leaving for Edward’s colonoscopy, I snapped at Henry and said mean things. 2) Then, on the way to the colonoscopy, I missed a turn in a big city, and ended up in a tunnel that took us somewhere else. 3) Then, Edward’s colonoscopy showed almost for sure that his medication is not adequately treating his Crohn’s Disease. 4) Also, during his colonoscopy we changed presidents.

But it wasn’t all bad. 1) I apologized to Henry when I got home, and I think I can handle things better next time. 2) The GPS helped me find my way back to the right route, and I’d allowed 45 minutes’ padding because I hate city driving, so we still arrived on time. 3) Edward’s GI doctor has a plan (biopsy results, then MRI, then we talk again), and seems chill about moving on to another medication. 4)

23 thoughts on “Hard Day

  1. Alison

    I’m so sorry for what sounds like a wretched day. I wish I could help out with #4, for all our sakes, but here we are. I skipped the coverage and made a donation to the ACLU. At least it is something.

  2. Maggie

    I’ve been tearing up all day and actually sobbed on my way to work. Looking forward to the women’s march tomorrow! Marching in southern CA, where we are expecting scattered showers.

  3. Caitlin

    4 is chocolate, Cheetos, gin, and clinging to Obama’s pant leg in a way that will alarm the secret service, I am pretty sure.

  4. Jenny

    I’m sorry for #1-3. I’m glad that you found solutions and finding solutions.

    As for #4, I’m sorry for us all. I started crying when I saw a headline on nbc.com that said “Ex-President Obama.” I haven’t watched a second of the coverage and don’t plan to, but I’ve taken small comfort that according to twitter, the crowds were very small and uninterested. I’m trying not to think about 4 or 8 years. Tomorrow I think I’m going to go to the Women’s March in my city (even though I hate that type of thing) then I am going to go see Hidden Figures by myself. And I think I might watch the video of Michelle Obama today—someone put together a short clip and she looks like I feel :) Just kind of a “I can’t believe this shit” but in a classy way.

    I’d also like to add that your comments and posts about the election and the resistance have always made me feel a bit better through this whole thing. So thank you and keep it up.

  5. Matti

    I’m sorry your day was so hard. You are honestly doing a really great job. Being a grown up is not easy, but this (read: #4) is all making just being a person difficult lately.

    I’ve cried today, ranted to my husband, tried to explain things to my kids, listened to the latest 451 podcast, and made from scratch brownies. It still sucks. But, I had a slight shiver of hope. To see all the protesters around the country marching, standing up even in the face of the police, in person and not just on Twitter, someone punching Richard Spencer in the face while he tried to explain the infantile symbol of his hate, the ACLU (who got another donation from me today as well) filing their first FOIA request concerning conflict of interest documents, and knowing how many people plan to march tomorrow. Today can get bent, but it is also the first day we can actually begin to fight.

    And, Buzzfeed put up a giant four year countdown clock. That felt good.

  6. Judith Rosa

    Good luck to Edward.

    PS I swore I would not cry today because after all I have lived through so much. Then I cried.

  7. Corina

    Have you seen this nice compendium of photos of flights full of women heading to DC? https://www.buzzfeed.com/juliareinstein/plane-full-of-nasty-women?utm_term=.wcWxZNx62#.enDwPMwLG

    It made me feel a little better. So did listening to the last interview that Obama gave as president, to a podcast started by former staffers called Pod Save America. He has so much faith in us. More than we deserve. And I think I’m going to be re-listening to that a lot. First step, I got on anti-depressants and started seeing a therapist to get my immediate post-election anxiety under control. Second step: started paying attention to the news again once it was no longer triggering panic attacks. Third step I took just today: got on the mailing list of my local Democrats group. It’s time to up my civic engagement. Next step? I dunno yet. This is going to be a marathon, not a sprint.

  8. Judith Rosa

    PPS also, I took an Ambien and slept most of the day. First time using drugs to deal with crap. I figured if there was a day I was allowed today was it.

  9. shin ae

    4 indeed.

    You should see the highway southbound to DC, Swistle! It made me cry, such a beautiful sight!

    I’m not going, but I live just off the highway at the DE-MD state line, so I saw it. Buses and buses and SO MANY cars!

    1. Jenny

      It makes me cry just reading about it.

      It sort of makes me sad because maybe if we had been this engaged, we wouldn’t have the mess we have now. But….maybe this will be the wakeup call that we all need.

  10. Alexicographer

    Oh dear. I’m glad there are positive sides to 1-3, and as for 4, well, I am marching tomorrow in my state’s capital and heartened by the thought that maybe — maybe — this organizing in reaction to what has happened will lead to good things (I also hope, separately and somewhat less optimistically, that it will prevent bad things).

    I used the Indivisible Guide (.com) and found a group in my area. Its inaugural meeting is next week, and I will be there.

  11. Alex

    I’m focusing on impermanence — nothing lasts forever, always darkest before the dawn, so on and so forth.

  12. Suzanne

    Oh Swistle. I didn’t have a chance to comment on your last post, but WHAT a week. I am glad that at least a few things have turned out well or with a positive bent to them. Hoping that the weekend has better things in store.

  13. Angela

    I had a rough few weeks, I know the feeling. Little things just adding up and making you feel BLAH. (Husband out of town for family emergency, sister in law causing drama, doctor appointment drama–like giving me zero choice in appointment time and then telling me the DAY BEFORE that my 5 year old isn’t allowed in the sonogram room per a new policy that started Jan. 1!!!! The appt. was on Jan. 4.)

    But! I picked out a name for my baby girl due in May, so you can take a minute and tell me what a wonderful choice Rosemary is and I’m sure that will make you feel better. ;)

  14. J-Mum

    OK 1 – We all have those mommy guilt moments when we snap at a child. They get over it long before we do, I would imagine! 2 – Man I HATE driving in the city. HATE it. The only time I ever did it “willingly” was when my youngest was at Childrens Hospital for 2 weeks when he was a year and half old. And even then, willingly was more “I would be a really bad mother if I said ‘sorry I can’t make it to your major abdominal surgery very young child of mine'”. 3 – Sucky results, but glad the doctor has a plan. Positive thoughts the next med will do it! 4 – There is just nothing that is going to fix this. My best suggestion is to plan a night out drinking a lot of wine with like-minded women where you can discuss surviving the next 4 years together. ;)

  15. Jenny

    I’m glad your doctor is so on top of Edward’s health and is keeping such close track of results. This way, his Crohn’s won’t ever get out of control and he won’t ever have really negative consequences of it. I wish his medication had been The One, but I hope the next one will be, and he will breeze along on it and feel great.

  16. Chris

    Someone mentioned Hidden Figures above, and I highly recommend it to improve your mood and make you feel hopeful! At first it will make you angry, and then sad, and then angry again. BUT! If you can look at it in the end in the light of Things Were Really Bad and Seemed Hopeless, But Then They Got Better, you will feel better. And OF COURSE that’s not to say that everything is perfect and there is no more racism, AT ALL. But things are better. I’d like to think MUCH better.

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