I am burning in the aftermath of saying YET ANOTHER STUPID THING. Apparently this goes on for all of life. I’d hoped with age and wisdom and etc., but no: the deepy-regretted remarks go on and on. I am reminded of a childhood friend’s mother who, in such moments of suffering, would address the ceiling with “HOW LONG O LORD??”
Well. The upside is that my own continuing stupid remarks are a frequent reminder that sometimes OTHER people ALSO say stupid things they regret, which makes it easier to give others the benefit of the doubt. “Did she mean…? Hm, let’s wait for more evidence.”
You know, I’m just going to tell you what I said. I was thinking I wouldn’t, because why share the cringe? “Because,” that’s why.
So. I had to take Rob to an appointment, and I dropped him back at school afterward. On the way home I impulsively stopped at a restaurant I’ve been to only once before, which was nearly empty last time and was nearly empty this time, too. It’s a teaching restaurant (part of a culinary/hospitality arts program), so it’s cheap and there’s an instructor milling/hovering to correct the students, and there is a charm to everything because it’s like we’re PLAYING restaurant, but with actual food.
At the table next to mine, an older woman was waiting for friends who never showed. I kept thinking I could invite her to sit with me, but kept chickening out: what if she didn’t want to? what if she thought it was pity? or I don’t know, what if she said yes and then it was weird? Even as I fretted, I thought it was probably unnecessary fretting, and wished to have been born a different temperament type. The jolly, friendly, never-met-a-stranger type, beloved by all for my contagious laugh and easy conversation. But no, instead I am the anxious, nervous, spent-an-entire-meal-not-asking-a-stranger-to-eat-with-me type.
While I was eating dessert, the instructor came over to talk to the other woman, and she said perkily “I’ve been stood up!” This gave me an opening, and I turned and said something lame but friendly, and she responded in a friendly way. Then she said she so admired me for eating alone: that she had never done it, and really ought to, and the food would taste just as good, wouldn’t it? And this is where I said something jolly and easy! Such as, “Actually, I don’t even like eating alone! Do you want to join me?” And we chatted for the rest of the meal and it was a lovely encounter.
No. This is where I wanted to say something friendly back, but instead got confused by the compliment and said in fact the food tasted even better because I could concentrate on it! (*begin to die of embarrassment*) And that if I ate out with my husband, he would TALK! (*DYING IN EARNEST NOW*) And she said, “Well, enjoy!” in a perfectly friendly but conversation-ending way, because I had JUST ESSENTIALLY TOLD HER NOT TO TALK TO ME BECAUSE TALKING RUINED MY ENJOYMENT OF MY FOOD.
Why did I say it? WHY? I don’t even FEEL that way! It was meant to be a sentence agreeing to what she’d said, followed by a silly joke about my husband! It was meant to continue the conversation! I DON’T EVEN MUCH LIKE EATING ALONE IN RESTAURANTS. My face feels hot. I keep stopping typing to put my mortified icy fingers on my burning cheeks. I inadvertently REBUFFED someone I’d WANTED TO EAT LUNCH WITH. If I’d wanted a line DESIGNED to politely rebuff an unwelcome lunch companion, I COULDN’T HAVE DONE IT BETTER. Stood up by her friends, and then rebuffed by the only other person in the restaurant.
I sat there, finishing my raspberry crepes (they were very good, and refused to become ashes in my mouth) (there is a raspberry seed stuck between two molars, preventing floss from doing its sworn duty and reminding me why I don’t usually eat raspberry things) and feeling the dawning horror as the conversation replayed in my head. What to do? Turn around and say, “Oh! I just realized that sounded like ‘Don’t talk to me,’ when actually I spent the whole salmon course wondering how to invite you to join me without making you feel pressured!” < ---- Me in another dimension, presumably a happier, less fraught one. Well, I did what I could, which was that I turned to her twice more when it seemed appropriate, initiating short friendly conversation about the food and the weather and the charm of the instructor. I smiled a lot: I may be anxious, but I am smiley. (Swistle's English professor, incredulously, when Swistle appeared at his office in response to a "See me after class" written next to a D: "Why are you SMILING?") Perhaps I upgraded my status from "Rebuffs friendly older ladies" to "Likes friendly older ladies AND eating alone." (I DON'T EVEN MUCH LIKE EATING ALONE.) Also, this is where it helps so much to think of the times other people have said stupid things in my presence (I mean, the low percentage of times I NOTICED: our own stupid things are SO MUCH MORE NOTICEABLE), and I have been able to tell that the other person felt stupid (or able to guess that they soon would), and I have not replayed the moment with anything other than empathy and wishing I could have handled it to save them the wince---like the lady in a Miss Manners anecdote who, after her guest dropped and broke an extremely expensive and rare teacup, said, "Oh, don't worry about it, I do it all the time" and casually dropped her own extremely expensive and rare teacup. I also reflect on various statements meant to reassure us how little other people care about us or think about us. Plenty of times, I've apologized to someone for something I said, and they didn't even remember me saying it; other times, someone has apologized to me and I didn't even remember them saying it. Perhaps she didn't even see it as a rebuff at all! (But I think in her shoes, I might have at least wondered.) Perhaps she thought, "Yes, I'll bet that's true! Next time I will eat by myself and see if the food is more delicious without anyone talking to me!" I will have made a convert to a practice I DON'T EVEN MUCH LIKE!
I’m so intrigued by the teaching restaurant…When I was a server we got some on the job training in the computer system we were using and that’s kind of it. Interesting!
Anyway, I do things like this all.the.time. I feel like other people don’t notice as much though. I probably would have just thought, “that lady must have an annoying husband! she should meet mine…” or the like.
I had no idea such places existed until a friend told me about it! It’s part of a tech college’s culinary arts / hospitality program. The students use the restaurant to learn to decorate, set the table, make a menu, serve, cook/bake, arrange food appealingly, keep restaurant accounts, etc.
One of the big churches in our town has a hospitality training program and we have a monthly lunch there. Homeless and/or recovering addicts learn all aspects of running a restaurant and we have a nice lunch for between 40 and 100 people for a discount price.
Imagine you are the lady, let’s call her “Patty,” whose friend “Joan” didn’t show up. What is Patty thinking? Is she thinking “who is that lovely Swistle eating alone? I bet she writes an awesome blog?”
No. (Sadly, as we would all love to lunch with Swistle.)
Patty is thinking, “where is Joan? Did she forget? Traffic? Accident? Sick child?” And on and on.
Now, Patty still took a minute to compliment you on eating alone, so she noticed you existed. But at the end of the meal, she went home and tried calling Joan again.
And either Joan forgot – in which case Patty will remember this meal as “that time Joan the fluff head totally forgot our plans” or, more ominously, “that time I began to suspect it was Alzheimer’s” – or she will remember it as “that time Joan got in a fender bender and had left her cell at home,” or whatever the case may be.
She will not remember it as “that day I met a woman who likes to eat alone so she can concentrate on the food.”
Unless she once had several small children, in which case she would sympathize. I would like to concentrate on my food, just to eat a hot meal without getting anyone anything.
Having been stood up by friends, I remember being stood up, but not anything I may have chattered about while waiting.
You may now forgive yourself and promise to feign an outgoing personality next time. (If it works for you, please report back, I’m still hunting for my outgoing side :) )
this is what I would have wanted to type, but Sky did it so well, I’m just going to say “THIS! don’t worry! you were not what she’ll remember of this day!!”
Oh, Swistle! I love this so much! I hate being so awkward, and worse yet, I really feel that I have passed it on to my daughter. Do you see it in your children? In sympathy, I’m going to tell you about one of my worst similar moments. It happened years and years ago, and yet…I still remember and cringe. It was at my kids’ school, and a friend’s husband, who I barely knew, passed by, and because I am even more awkward around males, I gave him a giant smile and an extremely weird, almost flirtatious but definitely not meant to be,, “Hi, Mike”. Now, why is that so terrible? Because even my daughter, who was probably 10 at the time, noticed the strange way I said it, and said “Why did you say hi like that, mom?”. Ugh, I want that back! Why can’t I talk like a normal person?!? But I love when you write about things so that I don’t feel like the only one.
I notice Elizabeth will sometimes tell me about something making her cringe, and I think “AHHHHHHHHHGGGGG SORRY FOR THOSE GENES AND/OR THE BEHAVIOR MODELING!”
Yes! I too can be EVEN MORE awkward around guys! SO WINCEY!
I accidentally hugged our Pastor (not a side hug or the A frame — the full on/real deal hug), and I’ve been sitting in the back pew with flaming cheeks since Christmas. I was anxious and flustered after the service with a large crowd swirling around and I meant to do a polite, Midwestern handshake, lost my balance, tipped forward slightly, grabbed him around the waist and created a very, very embarrassing situation for myself with no quick thinking way to recover. It was awful. Even now, the memory is making me feel queasy.
I actually like eating at restaurants alone (sit quietly and have food brought to me? excellent evening.), but I also would have wanted to offer her to join me…and I would have said the exact same thing as you. Actually, what she said was a little awkward, too! Who calls attention to the fact that you’re by yourself? It’s like saying to someone single at a wedding “So, no date, huh?” She may also be kicking herself!
I love Sky’s comment! Patty is really more concerned about Joan-and you nicely engaged her in conversation after-so I am pretty sure she didn’t think twice.
I also give you lots of credit-I am pretty outgoing, and don’t have any problems conversing with strangers-but I wouldn’t ask a stranger to join me for a meal. To be honest, it wouldn’t even occur to me. So kudos to you for your good intentions!
I agree with all the reasons stated by others that this lady surely hasn’t given what you said another thought.
I ALSO think that your remarks were perfectly FINE and would have come off to me like (1) a mom who is thrilled to be eating without children or a husband, not because they all suck but because it’s just peaceful and quiet; (2) a person who’s being humorous and lightly joking about the company of her family/spouse, which is charming (and not weird); and (3) a person who is keeping a respectful distance from a stranger — and the stranger, by the way, may not even want a jolly, devil-may-care extrovert to horn in on her meal, even though she was stood up (she could have outright invited you to sit with her, after all — it didn’t have to be YOUR overture to make!). So, all around, a perfectly normal and light conversation.
All that said, I frequently go over my own statements a MILLION TIMES and sometimes for YEARS after the fact. (To my growing horror, these days I very often respond incorrectly to greetings: someone says, “Hey, what’s up?” and I say, “Good!” or I say “Good night” in the middle of the day or something equally dumb.) So I am sympathetic to an acute degree. I recently read that this tendency to relive conversations is a sign of being highly verbally intelligent. Go ahead and pat yourself on the back for that, then.
Once I was texting my mom during a phone conversation with a client and almost said, “I love you” while hanging up. It was all, “I looov….HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND! THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY!” It was probably like a Thursday (or god a Wednesday – done that before too) but it’s better than telling a client I love them. Thankfully the client at issue was a man who was my father’s age and really nice and would talk about his son my age.
This reminds me of the time the then-Seceratary of State Condoleeza Rice said during a press conference, “My husban- I mean, The President.” FOR REAL SHE SAID THAT. I cringe on her behalf occasionally still even though it seems like no one talked about it much afterwards.
Oh I feel like I always, always say the wrong thing and it’s much worse to be me because I NEVER shut up so the chances of me messing up are super high. Also I am MUCH worse since having been home all these years with kids. I work as a waitress in a pretty high end restaurant some nights and some other nights I work in the more casual part of said restaurant and I have pretty much had to adopt a SHUT UP attitude at both places because I feel I am constantly overstepping. Anyway, I really do think it sounds like you had a nice encounter with the woman, and not one where you said the wrong thing at all! I mean, I know it’s not what you wanted to say and believe me I have freaking been there, but I’m sure she hasn’t given it a second thought.
I particularly enjoyed that your crepes refused to turn to dust in your mouth! What a fantastic turn of phrase. Living in the future is so weird, but as strange as it is, I am really glad to enjoy your writing.
Oh yes. Exactly the kinds of things I sit up all night re-living. Groan! I would love my life so much more if I could just learn to do the “don’t talk until you know what you ought to say,” thing.
I am a very chatty / outgoing / friendly type person, and I can assure you I would not have thought twice about that conversation after the fact, were I the other lady! I agree that at most, I probably would have thought “what a lovely lady that was, who chatted with me even though she clearly came to eat alone on purpose” and then not given it a second thought. Because WHAT THE HELL, JOAN.
I am an outgoing extrovert and I feel the same way. I would have thought how lovely it was that you responded at all. I have had so many of these “saying weird things” that I often have “party remorse” where I think back and am sure that all I did was insult everyone all night. I ask a friend and they have no idea what I mean. these thoughts grow in your head.
1) I love Sky. Best comment ever.
2) I am exactly the same way. I can remember things I said from childhood that were weird. I just told the nurse practitioner I saw yesterday that I loved her. “Bye! Love you!” And I’m still dying over it (and possibly the flu I have)
3) As a fellow smiley person, I think it does us no favors. First pregnancy, I threw up every day for THIRTY weeks. Often multiple times a day. I lost 25 lbs by the time I had the baby. I talked about it at every visit. They had a written record of my steady kids. (Smiling: the only thing I can seem to eat without vomiting is clementines. Everything else makes me sick. Dr: well, listen to your body and take your prenatal vitamins. They have everything a baby needs. ***charts another 4 lb weight loss***
Second baby, first visit.
“Well, I’m not sick like I was with my first. I vomited daily.”
“You know, we definitely could have given you something for that. Why didn’t you make your discomfort known?”
It took everything I had not to strangle him. THERE WAS MEDICINE TO STOP MY 30 WEEKS OF VOMIT?!?!?!
Ha! Once at kindergarten drop-off, I struck up a conversation with someone new. When we were saying good-bye, she said, “Bye! Love you!” I knew exactly what had happened (pure habit, from saying it to her kids/husband/parents), but wondered if she would cringe! I still cringe a little because a teenaged-boy clerk said “Happy Mother’s Day!” to me and I said, “You too!” I KNOW he knows I just slipped into the “Have a nice day”/”You too” pattern, but I still felt so silly!
I once told my boss I loved him! He had the same name as my husband, and I said “bye Mike, love you!”. I realized what I said and was like “wait-NO I DON’T!”. HAAA! Luckily my boss thought it was hilarious, and he was gracious enough never to tease me about it.
I do the automated “you too” response constantly. “Here are your tickets, enjoy the movie!” “You too!” *wince* “Enjoy your meal” “You too!” *wince wince* And since I know it would make me feel better in that situation, all I can say is that even though the cashier was not a mother, it WAS still Mother’s Day. And being Mother’s Day, he could have found a way to have a happy one.
I accidentally basically told my MIL to shove it this week at lunch. The lunch we were having following her mother’s funeral. Ahh. She’s a very nice lady but she made a stupid comment that irritated me. So I was rude to her. But wow do I feel bad about it now. She probably won’t forget either since she stopped taking to me after that and I haven’t heard from her since.
The worse part is that after I’m sure the person has forgotten the embarrassing comment I made, I still get in weird ruts where the conversation just plays over and over in my head… years later! I saw a therapist about this and some other anxiety issues for a year…. It was helpful- but now I’m thinking a blog is probably just as good of a source for this everyone-does-that type validation. ;)
For years I thought I was the only one who went over conversations I had, cringing. So it is nice to hear lots of other people do it. My question is this-do men do this? I am really interested to know. My husband does not, at all. He has a conversation and forgets about it. I still remember things from my childhood that I wish I hadn’t said. Ummm…I was a child! As women, why do we hold ourselves up to this perfect ideal, when we sure don’t expect it of anyone else? Is it because we are conditioned to please people and be liked? I say that as someone who was born in 1960-that was a big part of my upbringing.
Don’t you feel like your brain is really on an opposing team sometimes? Seriously, brain, it was THIRTY YEARS AGO. LET IT GO.
Like that Jackson Browne lyric: “Don’t remind me of my failures, I have not forgotten them.”
Oh boy, I am so glad to learn I have all these comrades in cringey-ness. An acquaintance once told me she named her daughter after her dead brother and I said “that worked out well then!”. I was trying to say it was a nice family link or tribute. She was kind enough to continue the conversation like I was a normal person.
Ok ok ok one time I told a client “Well you’re going straight to heaven!” when she did something nice for me and YEAH SHE HAD BREAST CANCER. AHHHHH
Ok, as a token of my love and affection for you, I will tell you a very embarrassing thing I did not too long ago. (I would like to say “the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done” but alas, I add to the category on the regular.)
I was out to eat with my mother-in-law and son, and as we were leaving, I saw the owner of the company I work for waiting for a table. He is a nice enough guy but perhaps a tad on the handsy side, and the last time I had seen him (at a social event), he asked me for a hug, which I didn’t like and thought was weird and creepy. So this time, I saw him, thought of that incident, and what did I do? HUGGED HIM. Unprompted. I truly cannot explain it. My face is hot just thinking about it. What. The.
this made me laugh really loudly. I don’t know why. My husband is hug – a – phobic.
I totally get this. And here’s the worst part: I am a weird mix of conflicting traits.
1. I am a complete, talkative, over-sharing extrovert who loves to go to social gatherings, and talk to people, and isn’t afraid to strike up a conversation with anyone.
2. I love (LOVE) being by myself, particularly alone in a crowd. I enjoy going out alone – restaurants, coffee shops, movies, etc. (seriously – my idea of a dream vacation is Disney World alone), so I quite often end up striking u conversations with complete strangers.
3. I over-think everything that comes out of my mouth, whether spoken to strangers, acquaintances, or old friends, which (given 1 and 2), means I am doing it all the time.
My life = Blurt out all the things! Freak out over the blurting of all the things!
this is my fourth comment, but you and I must be twins.
I just read your other comments, and I think you are right about us being twins. I have party remorse, too. I talk and talk and talk all night, then lament for days over what an ass I must have sounded like. Alcohol at said parties, does NOT help. I’m glad I’m not alone, anyway ;)
Oh god I feel for you!!! I loved/hated all the stories here (um, as in I love the solidarity but I hate that we’ve all been through things like this!)
In similar situations and I’m sure you’re the same, I sometimes manage to actually stop the conversation and say (WITH GREAT EMBARRASSMENT), “Hey, this sounded like ___ but what I meant was ….. and I’m sorry!”
Sometimes that works out for me. Other times the other person just gives me a disconcerted appalled look about how gauche I am, like I’ve blown my nose on their sleeve or something.
THERE ARE NO GOOD WAYS TO GET OUT OF THESE THINGS.
I have these moments ALL THE TIME. I call them my awkward turtle moments. I’m always saying “Good, thanks!” in response to someone’s “what’s up.” Or even worse, saying “your welcome” before the other person has even said thank you. Which makes me come off condescending when I honestly don’t mean to!
I work in a doctors office, and a few months ago I asked a patient in a wheelchair to “have a SEAT” in the waiting room. I still cringe when I think about it. I can only hope that there’s a slight possibility they didn’t notice? I also had someone call in to cancel their appointment because their spouse had passed away. You’d think that would be a good time to say something along the lines of I’m so sorry for your loss, etc. Instead I said “Oh, Ok, Well I’ll just cancel your appointment.” IT CAME OFF SO COLD and I still feel bad about it.
Ugh, I could go on forever. You’re not alone.
I agree that it’s one of those things that, like most awkwardness, seems soooo much worse to you than to her. But I also don’t think I’ve ever gotten through an entire week without sternly thinking to myself: “Erica, I don’t want to sound dramatic, but it would probably be better if you literally never spoke to another human again.”
Oh, Swistle and everybody else! I totally understand. I will offer this example of one of my own cringey moments (from 15 years ago!) that I still replay in my head every so often.
I was a grad student representative on a committee to hire a new faculty member. We interviewed one guy for the job who had spent his whole professional life (and personal life, too) in large Northeastern cities. My university was in a small Midwestern city, and it always felt to me like we got a fair number of new faculty who encountered culture shock after their arrival when they couldn’t get sushi delivered to their door at midnight anymore.
I was supposed to ask him a question about teaching when it was my turn. I meant to ask something like “How have you prepared to teach a diverse student body, including students from rural areas and first-generation college students?”
What came out of my mouth was: “Can you tell me how you would go about teaching a bunch of farm boys?”
And it didn’t help that in later stages of the hiring process, the jerkish faculty member on the committee mused aloud that the department should really teach the graduate students how to behave around faculty candidates!
Now, I know you felt awkward and shy, but honestly, I bet it doesn’t even measure on that woman’s radar. As someone above said, the woman who got stood up is going to remember being stood up – for whatever reason. She’s not going to remember “the day I was eating alone and someone else was eating alone and we had a brief exchange about eating alone.” So go easy on yourself!
I’m a person who lies in bed stressing over these things, except now I’m trying to think: “Well Swistle would say worrying isn’t doing any good so I’m wasting my time and losing sleep. Shut up brain!” Thank you for writing about these awful (to us!) things we all do!
The funny thing about this type of anxiety is that the only way she would have known that it was the “wrong” thing to say is if she had been in your head for the internal monologue about wanting to eat with her. From her point of view, everything seemed fine. But it’s all fun and games for me to say you shouldn’t worry about it; meanwhile I’m still rehashing shit I said in high school. Sigh.
What I’m worried about is that to her it felt like a smack-down. Like, that from her point of view she said something nice to a stranger, who then said “I’m trying to be polite, but I want to eat my lunch without you talking to me.”
I don’t think it came across that way to her. I really don’t. I agree with everyone who says she will think of you as a friendly lady in the restaurant.
This is my life. I seriously still get mortified over things I said/did years ago. I always tell myself that I think more of those things than the other person, and maybe they never even thought anything at all unusual of my comment, but I still cringe. Is there a drug for this?
I don’t know if being an introvert causes word vomit (due to going long stretches without talking to anyone but my husband and children), or if I’m secretly more extroverted than I realize, but my mortification comes less from saying the wrong thing and more from saying so. many. things. My daughter goes to a parent participation school, which means having to volunteer with other parents in the classroom two days a month. Often, I spend afternoons after working going over and over my conversations to assess whether I talked too much, talked too much about *myself*, asked any intrusive questions, listened and responded appropriately, or managed to make even the other person’s conversation all about me. Once a woman came up and apologized for how something she said to me must have come off (I didn’t think it was weird at all, of course), and I thought, “We should really be better friends, I think just like her!” But of course, we are not, despite knowing each other for a year and a half now, because see: “introvert” and “socially awkward.” It really is nice to have someone talk about these things out loud on the Internet.
Fellow cringer here! I had such terrible social anxiety as a kid I would often slap myself after a stupid conversation. So, yeah. Fortunately, things have improved to the point I no longer physically chastise myself when I put my foot in my mouth…most times. Though I agree with everyone here and really don’t think the woman took it as you rejecting a conversation with her, I’ve found that the best way out of this incessant and tortuous replay is to walk through the worst case scenario and just sit with it. And breathe. I allow myself to go to this dark place but with the rule that it must have some hold on reality – no “ruining” anyone’s life kind of hyperbole. So let’s say this lovely woman did want to chat. Let’s say after you made your comments she did think it meant you wanted to eat without disturbance. There’s nothing wrong with that! You said it politely. You didn’t shame or embarrass her or act in an unkind way. I have done this countless times with someone chatty on airplanes, in cafes, at work functions. I normally allude to how tired or spent I am from the day. I say it politely and no one (I imagine) is hurt. Why would they be? I wouldn’t. I would say to myself “that person feels like being alone.” So I suggest sitting for a bit with that scenario and that feeling (even though – again- I personally think she didn’t perceive it this way.) Maybe she felt disappointed for … let’s say twenty seconds. Perspective will come, and this scenario will just sort of…melt in with everything else that’s happened in your life. I don’t know if that makes sense or is helpful at all. For me at least, sometimes the internal “Did she think this? Did she not?” is a lot more painful than just plain dealing with a definite, even if it’s an imagined/impossible to prove definite. I’ve said so many truly awful things in my life that DID hurt people and DID reflect some terrible failing on my part. Those are truly cringe-worthy. In high school I once absentmindedly talked about how I thought it weird that the “chubbiest” Spice Girl (what was I thinking?) wore the most revealing clothes in front of my beautiful friends, many of whom were significantly larger than her. I knew right away on their faces that I had hurt them. I knew it hurt as much as it would have if they had talked to me about how awful some actor’s skin was (I had terrible acne). That comment was such a bigger deal (and required so much more work on myself to correct – my stupidity and insecurity and superficiality and horribly messed up outlook on thinness) than the times I just wasn’t as friendly as I wanted to be. Blah, I rambled, but I suppose my last point is: you did not hurt this woman. Her feelings are not hurt. And you are good. And that’s important! :)
Do you ever read Humans of New York on Facebook? There was a post a while back with the subject’s quote: “I’m not the best communicator. I spend a lot of time disappointed by what I just said.” Now every time I say something I immediately feel dumb about (happens a lot), I remember that quote and I feel like at least I know there are lots of other people who feel the same way. And I also agree that what you said was NOT actually awkward to anyone but you! You are fine!
Swistle! I’ve been cringing after I left a comment on your last post. I was trying to be funny and then I worried that I sounded flip and cynical and most of all nonsensical. It was regarding the book Dept of Speculation and the quote about entropy. I read it and thought how entropy is a big part of a life as a mom (e.g. cleaning, cooking, crying). So I spouted off my lame joke. Like an hour later I was like (a) the comment was about fixing things not even directly relative to new moms (b) how cynical! you wouldn’t want a sampler like that until like a year or two later. Then I said I was going to check it out of the library before fully realizing it was a BOOK GIVE AWAY. I wanted to write something right away (like sorry I shouldn’t comment on anything) but then I thought I’d look even crazier. So now I’ll just cringe and fret after I send this! I don’t think what you said sounded off at all. But everyone above said it much better. I think it’s nice that you thought of asking her.
This is so extremely apt, because I didn’t think ANYTHING NEGATIVE AT ALL about your comment! AT ALL! I thought, “Ha ha, yes, they really should!”/”I wonder if I could get someone to cross-stitch that for me NOW.” And LOTS of people said they were going to look for the books at the library, which I am always glad to hear—after all, only one person will win the giveaway! So I thought your comment was GOOD, and if you hadn’t explained why it MIGHT not be, I wouldn’t have been able to guess! So that lets me hope that the older lady at the restaurant would feel exactly the same way about MY comment!
Whew!