Christmas Report

Well! We had a very nice Christmas!

I had a fun idea for the stockings this year: fortune cookies. Edward mentioned them a few weeks ago in a “WHEN will we EVER have fortune cookies AGAIN??” format, as if he had been begging and begging and had been repeatedly refused, as opposed to never mentioning them before. I bought a bag of individually wrapped ones (I found them at Target for $3-something, then later saw a similar bag for $2-something at our grocery store near the soy sauce) and put one in everyone’s stocking. Some of them were the disappointing non-fortunes (“Friendship is the meeting of hearts”), but you’ll be happy to hear that I can expect a promotion, and that Edward’s moment of glory is nigh. (Edward, just now: “I think that already happened because of me opening the first good fortune!”) I hope I can remember to do those again next year.

Paul gave me a bottle of L’Artisan Thé Pour un Été, and my dad and I had fun translating it. He knew “été” was “summer” and “pour” was “for,” but neither of us knew “Thé.” Then later I was sniffing my wrists and I thought, “This smells like tea,” and then I asked my dad if “Thé” could be “tea,” and he said YES, and so this perfume is called Tea for Summer.

Every single person of adult size (Rob, William, my brother, my sister-in-law, me, Paul, my mom, my dad) got a pair of the men’s fox-patterned pajama pants from Target. FOX PANTS EVERYWHERE. My parents gave me a fox phone case and a framed print of a fox, and my brother and sister-in-law gave me a fox mug and a fox ornament, and my sister-in-law’s sister gave me a stuffed fox, so it was a fox Christmas.

I gave my sister-in-law a cute owl contact-lens case, a gift that revealed that I was going around thinking that if someone wasn’t wearing glasses, it meant they had their contacts in. But do you know what? This is not always true! Some people don’t need their vision corrected AT ALL! Luckily, my brother wears contacts. So now he has THREE owl contact lens cases, because I’d bought him one as well, and so did my sister-in-law. And I gave one to Paul, too, so it was also an owl-contact-lens-case Christmas.

I gave my niece a pair of Converse I wish I could have for myself:

Screen shot 2013-12-27 at 10.12.51 AM

(photo from target.com)

 

We bought Rob the DFTBA Chemistry poster. He unwrapped it down to the mailing tube, and went on at some length to his aunt/uncle/grandparents about how this might SEEM like a lame present but ACTUALLY it was awesome because he’s been wanting something to do pretend sword-fighting with friends, and I’d vetoed golf clubs. He talked for quite awhile before I realized he genuinely thought the tube was his gift.

We have had rather bad luck with toys BREAKING this year: broken in the package, or dead batteries included, or breaking the first day of play. I have already written to two companies to complain, and my dad has written to a third.

I would like to inquire politely about YOUR Christmas experience (if applicable), but am increasingly reluctant to end posts with questions (or title them with numbers).

38 thoughts on “Christmas Report

  1. KeraLinnea

    We had a nice Christmas. My family also celebrates on Christmas Eve, which is apparently common in Germany, land of my husband’s birth. We had an appetizer buffet: I boiled a ton of shrimp, and served it with butter and cocktail sauce, we had a slab of smoked salmon and those tiny toast things with a yogurt-dill sauce, an obscene amount of fancy cheese and fancy crackers, olives and deli meats. We had jello poke cake for dessert, and I bought some sparkling cider for the kids. We watched “A Christmas Story” while we ate, and then we opened presents. We downsized a bit this year. Donovan’s big gift was 60 dollars in cash, along with a minutes card for his phone and a couple of cool gaming/Star Wars tshirts. Erica got a prepaid smartphone (on sale at Target for 50 bucks, down from the 90 it was when I first looked at it and considered it as a gift!) a throw blanket featuring her favorite anime character, and a wall hanging of same. After gifts, I took the kids to their dad’s house and came home to drink wine and open presents with my husband. I got the coolest Doctor Who poster–it looks like the Van Gogh painting “Starry Night,” but with the TARDIS instead of stars. I also got a strand of colored pearls, a Neko-Neko cat, and my traditional two pounds of See’s candy. I gave Husband a Dremel tool and painting supplies. He collects miniature gaming figurines, and for YEARS has talked about painting them, but never made a move toward actually doing it. Oh, I almost forgot the DNA kits! Husband bought these kits from the National Geographic Society that let you send them a DNA sample, and they tell you where your ancestors came from. We’re really excited about those, because we’re really curious to see if there is anything interesting in Husband’s ancestry. His great-grandfather was a foundling–literally found on the steps of a German village’s church. Plus, despite being Northern Europeans, he and his sister both turn the most amazing shade of golden bronze when exposed to sunlight. We suspect their ancestors hailed from a village somewhere that got a visit from the Mongol horde, so we’re kind of expecting to see some Central Asian ancestry pop up.
    Reading over that, I feel like we may be a little bit nerdy. I also feel like I kidnapped your comment section. Sorry!

    Christmas day, he and I hung around eating buffet leftovers and See’s candy and drinking wine while watching Miami Vice and The Killing. We know how to party!

    Reply
    1. Swistle Post author

      Oooooo, I am very interested in those DNA kits! My mother-in-law was adopted, no info on her at all—and Paul and his sister both do that “deep golden brown in the sun” thing!

      Reply
      1. dayman

        my parents did those a few years back. They know their lineage but I think they were curious to see if there were any surprises. Nope. Everyone starts in Africa, and my dad’s line travelled to central Europe and my mom’s to the UK. I wondered where mine would travel, given that combination, and I think some info that came along with it said that it follows, shoot, now I can’t remember if it is the mother or the father, so basically I would just look identical to one of them- I think my father. I think. It would be fascinating if you didnt’ know, though.

        Reply
        1. Happy

          Your mitochondrial DNA is inherited intact from your mother, no mixing, so it’s great for testing the movement of people.

          Reply
  2. Jess

    Ha! I had to comment to say that I am DYING over the fact that Rob thought the tube was his gift! When one of my nephews was about 5 I wrapped his gift in a plain brown cardboard box. Once he ripped off the paper his face transformed to a look of glee and as he launched himself at me to give me a bear hug he screamed “an ordinary brown box! Just what I always wanted!” He was SO excited! 12 years later, no one remembers what the actual gift was but that experience is brought up MULTIPLE times a year. :)

    Reply
  3. Monica

    OMG! I work for John & Hank Green (the producers of Crash Course Chemistry, and owners of DFTBA)!! And I used to do customer service for DFTBA. That’s so cool. I love the internet. And I’m glad Rob is into science. Ahhh I love it when my worlds collide.

    Christmas was fun. We hosted because everyone else in our area is without power due to an ice storm, and it went much better than expected. On Christmas Eve, DH didn’t have to work so he tried to do a nice thing and make me coffee, but he doesn’t know how to use my two-serving Mr. Coffee and it turned out undrinkably bad. Christmas morning he gave me a Keurig and said he would never mess up my coffee again. Then he tried to make breakfast but completely screwed up the hash browns. It was really funny and overall we had a really great first Christmas as a married couple. :-)

    Reply
      1. Monica

        Hahaha YES. Actually it makes sense that you would know of them since I found your blog via Temerity Jane, whose blog I found via John when he proposed to her on Phil’s behalf. CIRCLES.

        Reply
  4. Tessa

    We are far away from my family but my husband has lots of wonderful family here. We spent Christmas Eve at his aunt’s house, lots of appetizers and kids playing ding-dong-ditch, and we upheld the tradition of stealing something from her house to wrap up and give to her the next morning. Then Christmas morning breakfast burritos with a smaller subset of the same. After that, my husband and I went to the zoo. We petted stingrays and starfish, passed by the tortoises having VERY loud relations, and fed the giraffes. (The baby ate right out of my hand! Slimy!) We came home and napped, and made crab legs and popovers for dinner.

    I also got THE BEST gift. We had to put my beloved dog to sleep last year, I had had him since before I married my first husband, and he was precious and perfect. My husband had an oil painting made of Lucky and our new dog Emma together, in royal clothing complete with crowns. It’s kooky and goofy and the best thing in human history.

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  5. Kristin H

    Oh my gosh I burst out laughing about Rob’s tube present. Our Christmas was good. My daughter is big on gifts–putting lots of thought into them, making them, etc. so she was super excited and woke up at 4:50. Fortunately we said no one gets up before 7 so we all got to sleep (except her). I thought she did pretty well with the inevitable post-gift letdown–the point where everything is opened and there’s no more Christmas until next year. Her #1 gift was Hot Hues from Target. $9.99 for hair chalk: that was one happy 9-year old. My son only asked for (and got) legos, and he’s been happily building for days now. I got my husband a big piece of laminate to make a new kitchen table top, which he was delighted with. Very romantic, huh?

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  6. Katie

    Oh, I love reading about everyone’s Christmases. It’s only fair to participate!

    We had a nice Christmas, too. My kids seemed to race through the 5 stages of Christmas: Mania (THIS IS THE BEST PRESENT EVER! LOOK! ANOTHER ONE! THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!!!), then Disappointment (Wait, there were like 100 more things on my list. Is this everything?), then Jealousy (Why did he get that? I should’ve asked for that! LET ME PLAY WITH THAT! I HATE MY PRESENTS! THROW THEM IN THE GARBAGE!), followed by Acceptance (I suppose I could play with these for the rest of the morning until my cousins arrive with more stuff). This was facilitated by the baby not caring about the cool set of blocks that he got and being very satisfied to eat everyone’s wrapping paper. So, even though they were not on anyone’s Christmas list, the blocks were the one thing everyone was satisfied to share because they belonged to none of them. Yes, I did pat myself on the back for that move.

    Later we hosted my in-laws, sister- and brother-in-law, and their two children. A good time was had. The food didn’t come out as tasty as I’d hoped it would, but it didn’t bother me in the slightest for whatever reason, so that’s also great. Everyone ate enough and we made up for it with way too much dessert, so that worked out nicely. The kids went to bed way too late, but they had fun and it was a good day.

    My only complaint is that my in-laws gave my older boys lego sets that were way too difficult for them to do by themselves, so they actually gave ME two sets of legos to assemble with the “help” of two overly anxious little boys, a three year old girl who “CAN DO IT MYSELF, MOMMY” while trying to keep the tiny pieces off the floor and out of the baby’s mouth. So, you know, Boxing Day was a little more stressful than I would’ve liked.

    Reply
    1. Katie

      WHOOPS! I Forgot the 4th stage of Christmas! Despair, of course, where you realize that you have to wait an entire year before you get another shot at getting Christmas presents. How could I forget that?

      Reply
  7. christa

    I’m rather bah humbug about the whole Christmas madness. I went on a trip away and spent the day in Joshua Tree national park. It was the best Christmas i have ever had!

    Reply
  8. Sarah

    We had a really great, really busy Christmas Eve/Christmas, with the exception to the greatness being Talia’s three day long bout of diarrhea thanks to the antibiotics she’s on. That was… awful. I had to change my OWN shirt three times in one day just from holding her at the wrong times. I really thought those days were over, so I don’t pack myself an extra outfit in the diaper bag anymore. Therefore I ended up wearing both my mother in law’s and my sister’s shirts at various points. Also I’m pretty sure being around my Christmas crazed little boys solidified my sister’s plan not to reproduce, so I feel a little bad about that. :)
    But nonetheless Christmas was wonderful, and I feel like the kids got maybe the best present assortments they ever have so far. AND! Nothing among the six of us that needs to be returned/exchanged, so that’s also noteworthy.

    Reply
  9. Melissa H

    Rob and the tube is hilarious! And the unnecessary contact lens case. You had fox Christmas we had lip gloss and gloves Christmas. Many pairs of gloves especially texting gloves exchanged. And the daughter and nieces got many glosses. The boy got a remote control car that is blowing his mind way more than the digger Santa brought. Daughter made out like a bandit with a karaoke machine from Santa and An iPod touch from us. Still unclear if that was a good idea. Hubby got a night away at a spa and we are currently on that trip. Best gift ever if I do say do myself. It was a crazy over the top holiday and kids have already been told next year will not be as good!

    Reply
  10. Rachel

    Flu. And Strep. And then vomiting! From the tamiflu!

    And then nonsensical screaming fight with my spouse about my volume of singing Christmas carols.

    There was one bright shining moment, after the vomiting, before the trip to my mother’s house, where it was just us and everyone was happy and peaceful and lovely. And today I am just grateful for that one shining moment.

    FLUUUUUUU!

    Reply
  11. Jessica

    I got engaged for Christmas! My boyfriend had a set of letters laser cut to say “Will you marry me?”, and put them on to ornaments and then scrambled them up in the package and wrapped it. When I unwrapped the box he told me I needed to unscramble them and while I was looking at them he pulled out a ring.

    Reply
  12. chris

    Christmas was good, despite everyone trying to stay away from me since I have a cold. I finally got some good cough medicine and a little sleep last night. This was the year my 10 yr old wanted the truth about Santa (on Christmas Day) so that made me a little sad, but she did it in private so as not to ruin anything for her little brother. Everyone was happy with their gifts and only my son got duplicates because my sister in law doesn’t like to buy things off our lists. Luckily, he was happy to exchange what she gave him for something he really wanted so everyone wins.

    Reply
  13. Brigid

    I visited friends for Christmas, and they do Really Big Christmas where I grew up with a less-gifty, more cozy Christmas. We were more “wow the incarnation’s mindblowing, and hey thanks for the chocolate and books!” They were “let’s go to church and then send all children into meltdown mode via liberal applications of presents, gourmet food, sweets, and enough wrapping paper to insulate a house.” Which I have to admit has a strong appeal and was very fun.

    So after receiving a mountain of thoughtful gifts (poetry, damask TARDIS socks, handmade Austen-quote earrings, yarn, tea, octopi salt shakers) I went upstairs for a quiet freakout about A) how to get all this stuff home because it won’t fit on the plane and B) the existential crisis of consumerism vs taking care of the less fortunate (thinking of women’s shelters and cancer wards specifically), when I had no need of my gifts and was happy before I had them but now really want to keep them and will certainly use them, but I have an overall simplify-my-life philosophy along with a wish to be more generous than self-focused. And as someone who loves gift-GIVING I am touched by the fantasticness of the things my friends gave me.

    Anyway, my friends are mailing me 2 boxes and I’ll seek out ways to help my fellow man when I get home. I feel much more sanguine about things now that I’ve had a lot more sleep.

    Reply
  14. HereWeGoAJen

    I believe the mailing tube story may be my favorite of all time.

    Our Christmas was good. We bought almost nothing for the baby because he has no idea. He got a xylophone from Santa and a stuffed snowman from his sister. We hit about the perfect balance of gifts for Elizabeth. Matt always wants to get her millions and millions and I am all “stop filling my house with crap.” So she had enough to satisfy him but not so many that I am running around rending my garments looking for places to store them. Matt got me a new car stereo (my old one had a tape deck! How quaint!) and a subscription to Audible so that I can listen to recorded books in the car. Plus, two years ago, he set up Carbonite on my laptop for me and it renews every year on Christmas and that peace of mind is one of the best presents ever. Matt also bought himself a power conditioner (don’t ask) for his own present but I also got him a K-cup storage thing and two books that were all surprises for him so that was satisfying.

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  15. DanI

    Mixed bag here. Sister and her family came to town and get husband got violently ill and had to go to the ER. They concluded after much thought that coming home at Christmas is just not going to happen anymore….12 hours via car SNF pain in the ass relatives….done and done. They always stay with me and so I’m sad but I understand.

    Reply
  16. Nicole

    I just wrote about it on my blog, but to summarize: 1) I’m pretty awesome at the disco songs on Just Dance, 2) I got an apron from a lingerie store from my mom, I think it’s for cooking, 3) I took the tree down yesterday and am revelling in my suddenly larger feeling living room.

    I burst out laughing about Rob and his tube. That is a pretty great reaction.

    Reply
  17. Karen L

    At church on Christmas Eve, my 6-yo took his first communion and then commented afterward: It’s grape juice, Mommy. So pretty much, Jesus tricked everyone. Teehee. That’s pretty funny. Teehee.

    Reply
  18. Elisabeth

    A) My husband has those fox pants!

    B) It was a very nice Christmas. My kids (4.5 and 1.5) were both so excited for Christmas. When I went to get the 4.5 year old in the morning, he was so excited to tell me that he stayed in his room all night, so Santa must have come. My little girl stood at the top of the stairs and yelled “Presents! Get!” at the top of her lungs.

    The book order came through for me and the book of Christmas mazes that was the only present my son wanted showed up on the 20th. My sister-in-law surprised me with a very thoughtful citrus juicer. I break out in awful rashes if I get lemon or lime juice on my hands, so it was really nice to get something that would keep the juice off my hands.

    Reply
  19. sooboo

    Those Converse are sweeeet! I had a nice Christmas. I spent it with my husband’s family who are Swedish. Swedes celebrate on Christmas Eve with a big smorgasbord. We ate Swedish meatballs, stinky cheeses, pickled herring, ham, Princess cake, drank glug, the whole thing. Finally this year I printed out a phonetic version of Helan Gar (Swedish drinking song) so the non Swedes could also loudly sing along. My favorite gifts to get were a crock pot and some cool earrings from my husband. My favorite gifts to give were original drawings I made (I’m an artist by trade) of people’s houses from Google Earth. No one fought or got sick. Success!

    Reply
  20. Monique

    This was supposed to be the awesome Christmas. Youngest is five, and ready for all things Christmas. We (well, I) had killed the Christmas Tree in a hormonal rage while pregnant with him, and between him either being little or being out of town we hadn’t bothered with a tree since then. So, the 20th was my last day of work, was supposed to meet my seldom seen but much loved best friend on Saturday for lunch and Christmas shopping, then put the new tree up and decorate on Sunday, etc.

    Instead, we were felled by the FLU. It was horrible. First the 15 year old on Friday day, then me that night. 20 year old on Monday day, husband that night. No tree, no decorations, didn’t get to finish the shopping, no one wanted to eat anything other than noodles.

    But it was still good. Finally rallied just enough on Christmas Eve to go out and get a very few things so along with what I had managed to purchase earlier, we had a good time. Five year old and I drew and colored a tree for Santa (he told me Santa needed us to have a tree), made break-n-bake cookies, found some pretty boxes to use as stockings since no one wanted to go in the freezing attic to find the actual stockings.

    Funniest part? Five year old found his Big Wheel hidden in 15 year old’s room a few days before Christmas. She told him it was hers. He gets a Big Wheel for Christmas and informs the rest of us that Santa had stolen Annamarie’s Big Wheel to give to him.

    Reply
  21. Phancymama

    Three year old understood Christmas for the first time, so spouse and I were up early (6am) vibrating with excitement. Oh, but there was also the 3am wake up from 3yo with aching crampy legs. An hour after 3yo usually wakes up, spouse asks just how much Advil I gave her last night and am I sure that’s what I gave her. Cue “is my kid still breathing” panic, so Christmas morning was greeted with two very adrenaline filled parents and one sleepy toddler. Baby and grandma were happy.
    I think kid was overwhelmed with presents, but there were no meltdowns. We learned that the various grandmas need to label the “from” portion of their gift. My spouse got us all very sentimental and personalized ornaments. I got the fun jewelry I’d wanted, and a surprise extra thoughtful and perfect for me gift from SIL and brother.
    I noticed a theme in my gift giving. For my mom, I gave her things that reminded me of Grandmom, who passed away this year. For husband, I went with the “keep warm” theme: socks, hat, fleece blanket, seat heaters, hand warmer. I didn’t notice that when shopping.

    Reply
  22. idena

    My youngest (almost 8) loved everything he opened… including the wrapping. He was UBER excited about the process. My teen and adult child were very kind, but unfortunately I was only 50% with the items they enjoyed/needed, so lots of returns for me (not my favorite thing about the holidays). Very upset that my husband who does 0% of the planning/shopping/wrapping decided to shop last minute Christmas eve to get each person one thing and each of the gifts he picked was PERFECT and LOVED and EXACTLY RIGHT. Arrrgggggg.
    I loved getting the items for the stockings, and did well with that, so next year it’s stockings and cash for the older children.

    Reply
  23. Jenny

    Ohhh….I have a fun one. My parents gave my 3 sisters and I (a brother and his fiance didn’t go) a trip to New Orleans. So we started our Christmas Day with midnight mass at St. Louis cathedral, went on a Garden District walking tour where we ran into John Goodman walking his dog, had hurricanes for dinner, and went to the most awesome jazz show that night. Seriously, I could go on and on about that jazz show (check out Irvin Mayfield).

    New Orleans was lots of fun. Cooler than we wanted, but beat the -10 degrees back home early in the week. But with a constant drink in your hand and all sorts of fantastic food and music, it was all worth it.

    Got back home today and am in the process of getting a cold. Boo.

    Reply
  24. el-e-e

    Well, I’m very late reporting in but we had a nice quiet Christmas morning – our first without anyone additional to our family of four! JUST US! That was the best present, for me. Our kids were happy with the things they got, which did NOT include any tablets or game systems or anything uber-expensive. Win! I received 3 new charms for my Pandora bracelet — ones I’d specifically asked for — as well as a safety chain/guard, much needed.

    I gave an “experience” gift that I was pleased about — to my parents and my kids, and my husband and me. It was tickets to a garden “lights” display in the big city. It was fun to watch them open it, wonder what the heck it was (I just printed the tickets and wrapped them up), then explain it and anticipate going. And it was fun to attend, as well. Cold, and very festive. Only bad thing was, parking was a nightmare. We ended up having to walk about a mile from our parking spot to the entrance. But overall, a successful gift. :)

    Reply
  25. Rbelle

    This might have been my best Christmas in a long time, as my entire family was together (minus one brother-in-law, but we sent him a care package made up of homemade artwork from all his nieces and nephews, so we even got to feel good about that). Every day from the time my sister and I arrived at my parents’ house to the day we left included at least one fun activity or get together (including getting to watch our football team clinch a playoff berth, whoo!), and the incredibly long drive there and back again with two small children, one a baby, went as good as could possibly be expected. My big Christmas stress – whether our three-year old would like the very expensive “made in America” tricycle we bought for her six months ago – fizzled when she started running around saying “I’m so excited I got a bike!” and also was able to sort of pedal it, despite being quite wee for her age. Of course, the better the Christmas, the harder the letdown, and I’ve had quite a significant case of the post-Christmas blues since we got home Sunday. I normally wouldn’t be happy with the weird middle of the week holiday thing that means my husband works every day but Wednesday this week, but I think it will help my doldrums to ease back into normalcy rather than be completely dumped into it after a long and thrilling break.

    Reply

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